I've not heard that song before. Very fitting. I think men have a harder time realizing this truth than women.
Nancy, is that a picture of your two young guys? I went back to the Aug. funny picture because I didn't realize one had curly hair. They look like they're getting big. Any more news on the situation? I hope you are getting to see them at least?
Zany and Vic, are we so much older than Arlene? That young whipper-snapper! I love that song. I sang along with it and it put a tear in my eye. Thanks for posting it, dear friend.
Yes, those are my precious guys. They are 7 and 5 now. The battle continues, and I must seriously trust God for the outcome because it looks worse every time I turn around. I do not understand how any person's heart can be as cold as hers is. She not only wants a divorce -she wants to take their kids away from him, make him suffer in court and make me suffer in court also. I don't remember how much you know because I don't write about it at all.
She went to the police and charged both of us individually with harassment and criminal mischief, and in addition has charged me with endangering the welfare of a child. The specific incident she cited with me is an actual event that happened almost a year and a half ago - one in which the person her kids were actually afraid of is her. Plus she claims it happened in June of this year. There were other people in the room who know the truth and are willing to tell it, so how can she possibly believe she can make the charge stick. Regardless, I have had 3 appearances in court already with another coming up in a few days. The wheels of justice turn ever so slowly. So temporarily (since early August) she has an Order of Protection against me, so I can not contact her or even be within 100 feet of her. Like I would even want to. It's too long a story to tell, but it's kind of obvious the judge doesn't believe her because there was no Order issued for me to stay away from the kids. I don't know how close we are to an actual trial, or if there will even be one, but in the meantime I am the bad guy and she is the victim.
As to Lay's charges, they are all lies and I am willing to take the stand to testify to that - if his goes to an actual trial. Our lawyer said it might even be dismissed. I have been to court 3 times so far and he has been 6 times. And still neither case is ready to set a trial date.
The sticky one though is the custody battle. The judge doesn't know any of us and must rely on whatever the attorneys tell him. Her attorney is being fed a multitude of lies, but she has no choice but to believe whatever the liar is telling her. Our lawyer says this battle may also go to trial and if it does she said I can take the stand and unleash all the dirt that I know about the woman. But in the meantime we have to be patient and do whatever we can to keep the peace.
Again it's too long a story to get into, but (I still can't believe this) the mom has been such a squeaky wheel at the boys school that "I" have been banned from the school grounds! Our lawyer said that the school is sick and tired of the complaints, the whining, the scenes she's created. But she's the legal parent and I am just a neighbor, so she wins and I lose. It's all totally unfair but like I said, I have to trust God who I know loves those boys and wants what is best for them. So I will suffer through the humiliation at school and the indignation at court, in order to let God do what God wants to do.
If I told you every ugly detail of the last 7 months it would fill a book. This is the nut-shell version. And to sum it up in four words - the woman is crazy.
Ditto, She has to be getting direction on what to do to make your lives miserable from someone. It's too bad the boys aren't old enough to testify. We'll keep praying that things work out that is what's best for the boys, which, by the sounds of it, is NOT being with her.
There's so much I didn't say here. They did speak to a court appointed advocate but she spent only 5 minutes with each child. They both claim they told her they want to live with their dad, but the advocate told the judge the kids are happy with 50/50. We are frustrated, but the lawyer said 50/50 is actually a good deal. However, now mom's attorney is trying to get more access time for the mom so our attorney is threatening to demand an on-camera meeting between the kids and the judge.
If it ends up 50/50, Lay will be okay with it, but anything less is totally unacceptable. Mom is many things, but she is still their mom and hopefully will not be evil her entire life. I'm hoping she will wake up and consider her kids' feelings before she loses them altogether. Emotionally, I mean. They do understand that she is the source of all their unhappiness right now and their respect for her is eroding at a rapid rate.
Thank you, ladies. Prayers for all of us would be so helpful.
It is a shame she cannot see how the boys will feel about her from all of this.
By the way, I am only a year younger than Vic! But I don't really remember growing up around any music. And I never got into it as a teenager. Still to this day, I don't really think about turning on the radio or anything.
Odd how we're all so alike and yet raised so different. Dad always had the radio on or a record playing. Sister and I each had a radio in our room and when we were sick, dad would turn our radios on. I guess he thought it would make us feel better
I remember getting transistor radio for my 12th birthday and thought I was high cotton.
I remember my first Walkman but of course the girls already had their own at that point.
Now I have an iPod and Siriux XM. There are times though I want dead silence. My walks on the mountain are always quiet as that is my prayer time and I never play the radio on the car. But if I'm cleaning or on my knees in the garden, I'm jamming to the music
I am trying to get back into listening to music. I have become so sedentary that it is hard for me to stand longer than 5 minutes without something to lean on. So I have set a goal of being on my feet and moving at least 5 minutes, 3 times a day. Dancing seems to do the trick. Next week I'll add a couple of minutes, and more the next. When I can maintain for 15 minutes per session I'll be ready for taking longer walks outside as the weather permits.
Luckily, I have a huge music library to play and no one around to laugh at my lack of dance skills.
Little things mean a lot...and a little exercise by an obese body, along with my new diet, should help me reach my first weight loss goal of losing 20-25 lbs before my next Doctors visit in January...little steps.
Ladies, I want to add some news that happened yesterday. It was another day in court for me, and the judge has has proven to me that she does not believe the boys' mom.
She has ruled that the Order of Protection for the mom will remain for one year. At the end of that year, if I have obeyed the Order and ( ) not been arrested for any reason, the entire case will be dismissed with prejudice. That means the mom can never charge me again.
No mention of the children, which was the real reason the mom went after me in the first place. And since I have no desire to be within 100 feet of the mom anyway, the Order of Protection is irrelevant. The judge did tell me that it is okay to be near the mom if it involves transferring the kids, but only for that reason. And if the mom should approach me or try to cause trouble, she said I should call 911. So yes, I do believe the judge understands my situation.
The little boys have been told that their mom's charges against me are finished. They are happy. But there are still hurdles left. Lay still has his case to contend with, as well as the divorce and custody issues. Hopefully they will all be resolved before the year ends.
Nancy, that is good news. I truly think that the mother is getting advice from someone to try everything she can to get custody so she can qualify for child support and benefits and possibly the house. Her spiteful and greedy nature know no bounds.
That is good news, Nancy. And thanks for the update. Sounds like a judge with open eyes. I'm glad the boys know the charges against you are finished too and I'll keep you all in my prayers for Lay's cases' outcome to be as good.