Dog humor, stories, and other anecdotes forum: Let's Smile Awhile

 
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ImageElena
May 7, 2011 7:38 PM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
Dear God: It's me, the Dog.

Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10. The cat is not a squeaky toy.

The cat is not a squeaky toy.

The cat is not a squeaky toy.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, can I be un-spayed?
ImageElena
May 8, 2011 5:13 AM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
Dogs do "show off" for us just like little kids. I had never thought of it as a sense of humor until now. Many of us have some great "tails" to tell concerning this but I guess that will have to wait till another day.........................Have a good day everyone......................

The following article came from Yahoo’s “Shine” in the year 2007.


Do Dogs Have a Sense of Humor?

Does your dog ever make you laugh – on purpose? Does he know he’s being funny? An even stranger question – does your dog find things funny?

There are countless stories of dog antics and behavior that are funny, but most of those you’d have to say are unintentional. Humorous behavior may be repeated because of the positive reaction received. In this case, you can’t say the dog has a sense of humor, but is acting on positive reinforcement.

But dogs may be a little smarter than that. Just as some people enjoy making others laugh, it would seem, so do some dogs. Author Stanley Coren tells of his Cairn Terrier, Flint, who frequently seemed to try to amuse his owners. On one occasion, Stanley’s wife Karen was having friends over for coffee. Flint hung around the guests, perhaps hoping for a morsel of food. Karen shooed the dog away and told him to go find something interesting to do. Flint obediently left, only to return with one of Karen’s undergarments in his mouth. Coren writes, “Evading capture, he proceeded to flagrantly snap it from side to side with great joy—to the amusement of the company and the dismay of my wife.”

Did the terrier know he was being funny? Hard to say, but Coren says Flint did get a great deal of enjoyment out of it.

Now, there are many levels of humor. There’s basic physical humor like slapstick, up to very high-level humor that requires visualization and imagination to appreciate, such as the type comedian Steven Wright so
dryly delivers. A dog’s world of humor would have to be mostly on the physical level, through simply behaving in a goofy manner, or playing little tricks on you.

Of course, some really intelligent dogs may even enjoy a little psychological humor. One dog owner blogs, “I guess you could say… that I startle easily. And now, I live with The Crow - she's an unusually smart dog with a wicked sense of humor. She's decided it's funny to ambush me from the shower stall. Ha ha. Ha. Now I know she's likely to be there, and it doesn't scare me anymore ... not much, at least. Still, there's always a small start when I don't realize she's in there and I turn to see this.”

It’s really not so hard to believe that dogs have the mental prowess to grasp humor, since they so readily grasp the concept of play. Dogs completely understand the difference between play and something more serious, and are careful to make the distinction. For example, one tiny Yorkshire Terrier named Missy is exceedingly careful to make sure the line between play and not-play is very clear. Missy loves to growl and yap ferociously when playing a game with a person. But she’ll abruptly call a time out by running over and licking her human opponent most humbly, as if to say, “Hey, you know this is only a game, right? You know I wouldn’t hurt you.” (As if her five pounds of fluff could ever be a threat.) Once Missy is satisfied that all parties understand that it’s only a game, she’ll go right back to it, acting out her savage beast within.

W. H. "Hank" Halliday, of Wolf Awareness Inc. in Ontario, Canada contends that if dogs have a personality, why not a sense of humor? “Since personalities are a fact in these canids (dogs and wolves), I would suggest humor cannot be far behind. When my dog plays, it is not mechanical. He changes the rules to have "fun" with me. He certainly teases me and I would suggest that teasing is a form of humor.”

As these stories illustrate, if you’ve ever suspected your dog was making you the punch line to his joke… you were probably right.

ImageLance
May 10, 2011 10:51 AM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
Fun reading, and I would say dogs do indeed have a well-developed sense of humor. Just watch them play and try to trick each other, or you.
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
ImageElena
May 10, 2011 7:13 PM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
I guess that actually may be part of the survival mode kicking in. If they couldn't fool each other or predators it would leave them at an extreme disadvantage. If they laugh on the inside or if it makes them happy when they fool us so much the better for them, right? Big Grin
ImageLance
May 11, 2011 7:11 AM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
Sounds good to me!
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
ImageElena
Aug 22, 2011 11:34 PM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
Thumb of 2011-08-23/Elena/4bea4e

TALKING DOG FOR SALE

A man was driving around the back woods of West Virginia, and saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."He knocked on the door; and the owner appeared, telling him the dog is in the backyard.

The man walked into the backyard, and saw a nice-looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asked. "Yep," the Lab replied. After the man recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he said "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looked up and said, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping." "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down.

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies; and now I'm just retired."

The man was amazed. He returned to the owner, and asked what he wanted for the dog. "Ten dollars," the owner replied. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
ImageLance
Aug 23, 2011 7:17 AM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
Good one, I like the punch line.
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
ImageElena
Aug 23, 2011 8:14 AM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
Thought you would like that. Big Grin
Imageflaflwrgrl
Sep 9, 2011 9:02 PM CST
Name: Ann
North Central Fl






A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.


When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.



'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump,' said the man.

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.

'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'












"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers
ImageLance
Sep 12, 2011 12:44 PM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
Perfect, I like it. Goes well with your signature line, too.
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
Imageflaflwrgrl
Sep 12, 2011 2:37 PM CST
Name: Ann
North Central Fl
I tip my hat to you.
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers
ImageLance
Sep 13, 2011 8:32 AM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
I would have given a drink to the dog first, though! At least I usually do.
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
Imageflaflwrgrl
Sep 13, 2011 10:39 AM CST
Name: Ann
North Central Fl
Same here. Hilarious!
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers
ImageElena
Sep 13, 2011 11:38 AM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
Yep, me too! A good parent takes care of the kid's (and dogs or cats) needs first and then their own. I have always been like that.
ImageLance
Sep 13, 2011 11:58 AM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
I usually get the dogs first since they cannot get their own, then my son since he can get his own if he wants to, then of course myself somewhere along the way. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be done?
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
ImageElena
Sep 13, 2011 12:31 PM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
YEP! You got it Ace! But then, you are a very good Dad and dog owner also. A person who isn't would likely take care of self first and then take care of the others.
ImageLance
Sep 13, 2011 4:57 PM CST
Name: Lance Gardner
coastal plain Virginia
Question authority, guide in wisdom
Thank you, good to know I figured it out the right way. Hurray!
But let's not forget that in order to be able to take care of others, we also need to take care of ourselves. I can often put off my own care because I eventually come back to it.
Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground -- the unborn of the future Nation. The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations.
Dogs; Family Fun Unplugged; Perennials, Annuals, Veggies; Happy Birthday Wishes
ImageElena
Sep 13, 2011 6:04 PM CST
Name: Elena
Middle Tennessee
You are a very wise man, my friend.
Imageflaflwrgrl
Sep 13, 2011 6:09 PM CST
Name: Ann
North Central Fl
Yup. Important to take care of ourselves otherwise we may not be around to take care of those we love.
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers
Imageflaflwrgrl
Sep 15, 2011 5:00 AM CST
Name: Ann
North Central Fl
Inner Peace: This is so true
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,


... Then You Are ...
|
..... Undoubtedly .....






The Family Dog!







Thumb of 2011-09-20/flaflwrgrl/96d74f
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Will Rogers
[Last edited Sep 20, 2011 6:43 AM CST]
Quote | Post #758568 (20)

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