How has your life changed in the past year? forum: Welcome to the 'How has your life changed' forum!

 
Page 1 of 5 • 1 2 3 4 5

Views: 96, Replies: 89 » Jump to the end
Imagebsavage
Feb 4, 2010 8:05 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Here is the 'How has your life changed' forum. I know that my own life has changed dramatically over the past few years, and I also know that it has been inappropriate to discuss it in most forums, and I would probably have been too embarrased to share too much. I will share here, and I hope you will too... and from each other we will find strength, compassion, ideas, motivation, and love.

Brenda
Imagebsavage
Feb 4, 2010 9:29 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
I am nearing 50 years old. A fabulous milestone, and I am very thankful that I am alive and well. The past few years have proven very challenging for me and my DH Tony. We had re-built his business (grading for new construction subdivisions in Phoenix, AZ), and after much hard work, the company was very successful and profitable. We put away a nice nest egg. We grew the business. Then, the 'Great Recession' began, starting with new construction and real estate. We were early casualties, ultimately we lost our home in AZ, our gardens, our ponds, many toys. The worst and hardest thing was giving up the gardens and ponds that we had worked so hard to build, and which we loved so much. Since then, we have moved to Colorado and have downsized greatly. Yet, we are so thankful for our home here, the many friends that have helped us through this transition, and the hope of new gardens to tend. No one will feel sorry for me for this (and that's okay), but I went from being quite well off to, well, now, we hope we are able to keep this home. And finding employment (though we are both excellent employee material) has been a long and frustrating process... I have never had trouble finding work. It took both my husband and I months and months to find jobs. Thankfully, we are now both employed, and I am especially thankful that I absolutely LOVE my new job!

I am intentionally being a bit succinct in this first post, because I choose to live in the now... but I know first hand that some of those days were so very sad and quite lonely. Though my husband and I have gotten through it together, some friends to be able to openly share with, as well as a place to put my thoughts in writing at the end (or beginning, or the middle) of each difficult day during those times would have been welcome. I hope that is what I am creating here... a place where we can share and help.

Also, I think a place for sharing the victories, the moments of (sigh) happiness, the personal parts of our lives that are cause for celebration, even tiny steps forward... need to be championed and celebrated here!

I've got all kinds of stories of life transitions, from when I was a single Mom for most of my son's first 20 years, to divorces, to amazing and exciting adventures, my love story with my husband, other love stories which were mostly fun but sometimes heartbreaking. Life, in all it's full and amazing reality.

I will share more, and I hope you all do, too.

Hugs from me...

Brenda
ImageLindaTX8
Feb 5, 2010 11:46 PM CST
Name: Linda
Medina Co., TX
I can relate. Life can really be hard. I've struggled quite a bit myself through the years. I went through divorce and trying to manage being a single mother for a while. Now I'm getting older, and DH is disabled and has a lot of medical problems. But we raised my daughter, she's got a family and career now and I try to cope with life's challenges one day at a time, to borrow a motto. Somebody told me recently after hearing me talk about living overseas a few years after my first marriage that I should write a book. Don't think so. I'm more about just living in the present for the most part.
Imagebsavage
Feb 6, 2010 11:26 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Hi Linda. Living in the present is a good thing! It's funny, I often am amazed by how things that I've gone through (or learned, even when I didn't want to learn...) come back later in life to be a benefit.

I think the whole transition with DG and this exciting new site is a bit life changing. I know it's changing my daily 'rituals'... LOL! I don't know which site to go to first!

Hoping your day is lovely!

Brenda
ImageMcGlory
Feb 6, 2010 12:25 PM CST
Name: Lori
Southeast Nebraska
Hi ladies! Isn't it amazing how life can change so quickly in a short time? In the last three years my sons have moved out, my father-in-law passed away, we had to put my mother-in-law in a nursing home, and she passed away just this past Thursday. When I think back at how less than three years ago things were so different, it makes me scratch my head.
Imagebsavage
Feb 6, 2010 12:57 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Welcome, Lori. I'm sorry to hear about your MIL and FIL. I can only imagine how stressful and sad that all is. It seems like the past three years were difficult for so many. I wish for better days ahead for all of us. My heart goes out to you, Lori.

Brenda
Imagetomatofreak
Feb 6, 2010 10:21 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Brenda, thanks for starting this. I'm sure many of us have changes we can talk about. Sometimes they're planned and sometimes, they come out of left field and leave us dizzy with surprise. As we get older, the surprises come more often than they used to. Whether health-related or financial, they can be life-altering. As I'm in that 'older' category (post 60), those are the ones I worry about most.

That said, I do like change. I get stale, stuffy and stultified if I don't have some change in my life frequently. I got stuck in that state after my mom died in '02. I lost two beloved pets in the next couple of years which also hit hard. To add to that, the wonderful vet who'd cared for my cat died of a blood clot following surgery for a minor accident. He was 34. I was stunned. I didn't realize what an impact these cumulative events had till I woke up one day to find moss on my north side. I was going through the semblance of a life, but without any real substance to it.

In the summer of '08, I decided to become a massage therapist. Just like that, I went to a community college orientation and enrolled in every pre-req needed for the program. Suddenly, I had a purpose. I had something to do and somewhere to go everyday. My brain cells got slapped into overdrive as I struggled through anatomy and physiology. I realized how much I love learning. And I was so happy to be accepted by my classmates and teachers, even though I was older than all of them! Being surrounded by young people was one of the perks of the whole experience. I made great friends.

I graduated my massage program in October and in early November, I began an intensive training course to become a nurse assistant. I finished that and now I'm waiting on my massage license and NA certification. (I got sick right after my NA class ended and turned in both apps late.) Precisely what I'll do is not clear, but I know I will use my training. I began with the goal of working with elderly, infirm and convalescing people. That hasn't changed but I did learn that I enjoyed working with all ages and types of people so I don't want to limit myself. My challenge now is to put a business and marketing plan in place.

I doubt I'll make a lot of money in this latest transition (I've made so many, I've lost count); in fact, I might live long enough to recoup my investment in classes, lol. But that's what life's about - doing what you want, what you enjoy - and with any luck it also helps others. I'd love to hear your feedback and if you have some experience or advice to share, that too.



Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagebsavage
Feb 7, 2010 12:26 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
TF, your post gave me chills and leaky eyes at the same time. If I haven't said it before, I think you are awesome! Wow, how much you are doing always humbles and amazes me. You are one of my heroes!

We all go through times of challenge and change and crap and pain and sorrow and anger... and it is very, very good to come out of it. Some thing... whatever it might be, might spur a long dormant longing to DO... something! Those times when we feel frozen are the scariest of all. That is when we can barely rustle ourselves out of bed... but rustle we must! Some things require relentless, exhausting perserverence, but the one sure thing in life is change... shouldn't we try to affect the change as much as possible? Shouldn't we try to keep on keepin' on? Shouldn't we accept positive surprises with an open heart?

In my new job, I have to tell you all, I did not want to cook. I wanted to bartend. I got the cook job. The reason I didn't want to cook is that I cook all the time... every day. The last thing I wanted to do was cook more. Yet, I love cooking, and I guess that shone through somehow. And guess what, 3 weeks into my cooking job, I absolutely LOVE it! (It should be said that I am cooking in a place that puts out fresh, excellent food consistently). Would I have ever thought that I would be working as a cook? NO! But, I am loving it, surprise! So, let's all keep our minds open, okay? Desperation and true need can encourage you to go where you wouldn't before, but maybe it will lead you to the right thing for you, if you keep an open mind.

Money... well, I've lived in many price brackets in my life, and NOW I think what my parents taught me is correct... it's nice to have money (money can provide comforts, which I LIKE), but life and living are what really matters. Okay, I have to say that family was (and is) first and foremost to my Mother, and in this changing world of families, that is more and more challenging to experience. Families are in flux all the time now. Though I am divorced from my son's father (for many years now, I guess we're into decades), thankfully he is a very good father, and though he and I disagree on many things, I've always known that his heart is with his son, and he is a good Dad, so both my son and I are blessed with that. My son Phillip is a big grown up young man now, and I'm so glad he has his family.

So, in my rambling here, I really enjoyed every single minute of having a bunch of money, and I plan on enjoying every single minute of not having a bunch of money. Because what really matters is the living, the loving, the enjoying all that life has to offer, in all it's different facets

p.s. It's really good to do work that you love, even if it doesn't make as much money as some other choices. That is what I have learned lately.

Brenda
Melissa
Feb 12, 2010 1:01 PM CST
Name: Melissa
In the last few years my life has changed so dramatically that I don't even recognize it sometimes.

(edited out all the sad stuff)

It just seems like the last few years have been full of changes I really can't control... some good and some not so good.

Right now, I just want to go back to bed and turn the world off for a while.
Imagetomatofreak
Feb 12, 2010 2:53 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Melissa, I don't blame you for wanting to press the Stop button. That is a lot of change and a terrible loss in a short time. It always feels good when you make a change that you want to make. But losing someone you love is difficult even when expected, worse when you don't. Grief is personal and no one can tell you how you should. I would just encourage you to do what feels right for you. Please do come back here and talk whenever you feel like it. Sharing sometimes takes the edge off whirlwinds of change and deep sadness. Wishing you a rainbow in your rain.
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagearejay59
Feb 12, 2010 9:49 PM CST
Name: Arejay aka Robin Brann
Maine
4th Annual Iris Sale going on now!
Hi Brenda, What a great idea for a cubit. So many of us could use a place just like you have created. Come ovr tho the newbies chatter thread and introduce yourself and we will link you up to the cubit review.
Robin
Here is the link
http://cubits.org/newbeeschat/thread/view/3247/
Imagebsavage
Feb 12, 2010 11:22 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Melissa, I lost one of my brothers suddenly 2 1/2 years ago. He was one of my life heroes, and did not die a dignified way. I choose to remember his life, as opposed to the way he left us. Hugs to you...
Imagebsavage
Feb 13, 2010 10:52 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Melissa, I have to say a bit more... but I am traveling and have very limited internet right now. I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you. Arejay, thanks for thinking this is a good idea, I don't know if it is or not, but I do know that I have had many life transitions in the past few years and sometimes I wished I had an appropriate outlet to just let it out. I hope that this becomes a reaching out sort of spot... and as I keep saying, a safe place to share.

Brenda
Imagebsavage
Feb 19, 2010 11:24 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
HI Melissa, How are you doing? I am back home now and (slowly) trying to catch up. You also have a note here (untitled) from Elena. http://cubits.org/life/thread/view/6211/

Brenda
Melissa
Feb 19, 2010 4:22 PM CST
Name: Melissa
Brenda, I have my moments. I went back to work yesterday, and the kids were really good. Today they were back to normal, so this afternoon I had to go hide and cry... just couldn't help it. No one said or did anything... just emotions running crazy I guess.
Imagebsavage
Feb 20, 2010 10:15 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
I think that is to be expected, Melissa. When I lost my brother I cried often and a lot. Sometimes I'd be fine, then I'd think about something that would remind me of him, then I'd cry. Grief is difficult, but keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. I try to remember my brother's life rather than his death when I still feel that sadness creeping in. He had an excellent life, and mine is better for having had him in it.

I hope you know that you don't have to edit out the sad stuff here (unless you really want to). I find that sometimes it helps to write how I'm feeling. That includes the good and the bad... so feel free to share. What's the old saying? Sorrow shared is half the sorrow, joy shared is twice the joy. Wishing you better days ahead!

Brenda
ImageBoopaints
Feb 25, 2010 1:41 AM CST
Name: Becky Capps
Phoenix, AZ 85022
finding joy one day at a time!
I finally found this cubit. Well, I finally had time to find it!
I will be back soon and post more.
I love how transparent you are Brenda....and all of you! I will be too.

I am not sure what Melissa has been going through but I felt her pain and wish I could help too. I know for me is knowing that God loves me and holds me up when I can't stand.. That makes all the difference in my life.

Boo
Imagebsavage
Feb 25, 2010 11:31 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Hi Boo, and welcome! As for being transparent, I have learned that I really don't wish to expend my energy pretending to be something I'm not... I'd rather use my power for good. And I also think that as life throws challenges at us, sometimes you just need to vent.

Speaking of which... this week DH wanted some pictures of our dogs through the years for an article he's writing for his blog, so I had to go back through several years of pictures, which of course means looking back at what our life used to be like, the great sell-off, moving out of our home in AZ, the gardens and ponds that we built there... I try to always look forward and enjoy the present, but honestly, that made me cry. Yes, things are just things... but when you have built a life, a business, a home, a garden... and then to lose it, well, it's excruciating. The economic meltdown really started with our industry collapsing (new home construction and real estate) and went from there. We were among the earliest casualties... now there are so many that have lost jobs and homes and everything that they had worked for for years. Sometimes, it is just plain sad.

Having said that, I am so grateful for the home we have now here in Colorado, and for the new opportunities for a different kind of life... I love not being on the 'corporate treadmill' anymore, I love the simpler lifestyle, I love that I have time to live and enjoy life rather than just rushing through it. I love that we have true friends here... not just acquaintences rushing past each other. I love the whole small town deal! And, believe it or not, I love bartending and cooking for a living, who would have thunk it?? From being a corporate real estate managing broker and living the 'executive' lifestyle, to bartending and cooking. I am much happier doing this! In fact, the first thing I did when we moved here was to take all of my business suits and clothes and put them in the attic. I knew for sure that I didn't want to do anything that required business clothes and high heels, LOL! (Okay, high heels once in a while, but by choice).

So, I guess that the old adage is true, when one door closes, another one opens. Though it's sometimes really hard to see that when your in the midst of the turmoil, it is true if you keep an open mind and an open heart. You never know what blessings lie just around the corner...

Brenda
ImageRoadrunner
Feb 25, 2010 10:22 PM CST
Name: Jo Miklovic
Hereford, AZ

Hi Brenda...I remember your lovely home...and how nice
Tony was to change our tire for us...and your beautiful LUAU you did for our RU...and how great you looked in your bathing suit and sarong!!

I'll be back when I have more time...Nite..Jo
ImageAguane
Feb 26, 2010 10:02 AM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
l'chaim, to life.
We take the good with the bad. Yin - yang. joy - sorrow.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER

Page 1 of 5 • 1 2 3 4 5

« Back to the top
« Cubits.org homepage
« Life Transitions cubit homepage
« How has your life changed in the past year? forum

You must first create a username and login before you can reply to this thread.

Life Transitions

Open, kind, loving and safe discussion of any and all of our life changing events, from economically driven changes (both good and bad), to marriage, children, divorce, friendships (new, old, or lost), love, aging, death, birth and rebirth.

» Home
» Forums

Cubit owner: bsavage