Being Open. forum: Being Open

 
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Imagebsavage
May 16, 2010 6:59 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
It occurs to me lately (or re-occurs to me) that it is easy to be closed. To tighten up, to resist, to fight... those choices are the easy ones. Actually, one barely needs to think to run to anger, or boredom, or give up to sad, or give in to tired. It is easy to do any of these.

Being open requires some thinking. Being open feels tough at first. A quantum change in one's life, especially when it isn't planned, is overwhelming. Being open to what real life experiences might be in store doesn't come naturally to most of us... but I recommend an experiment! Try being open to whatever blessings might be waiting right around the corner for you. For a day, a week, a month, a year.
[Last edited May 18, 2010 11:51 AM CST]
Quote | Post #221740 (1)
Imagetomatofreak
May 17, 2010 11:09 AM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Brenda, I am looking for that door! As an Aries whose motto is "just put your head down and charge" I get bored without change, new experiences, surprises. Of course, they don't always turn out wonderfully well, but still... a rabbit hole now and then keeps one interested - and interesting. Now, where did that rabbit go?
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagebsavage
May 18, 2010 11:51 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Love that, Alma! I too love a bit of excitement and to see what else life has in store. Being open requires a bit of bravery and faith... who knew that I would love living in the country again, living a far simpler life? I may not have chosen it specifically, but life gave me it and I'm very happy about it. Hurray!
Imagebsavage
May 31, 2010 11:50 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
I am personally glad that Dave and Trish decided to be open to protecting their creation. It's easy to imagine how overwhelming an attack on them might feel, especially when they have been so honorable.

For many of us, attacks can come from unexpected angles... a trusted business asscociate, a spouse, a friend. Being open can mean understanding that some people come from a place that we don't... a place that doesn't honor agreements, or doesn't see anything but itself, or is bitter, or has a hard wiring in the brain issue.

Being open means not getting hurt by these forces, but by protecting your creations and yourself from them. It's not comfortable, but honestly, peace and honesty and mutual respect MUST be what my life is made of these days. For those who keep on choosing to disrupt and dramatize, I am not afraid of fighting you, in fact, I will eliminate anything that jeapordizes what is important to me.

In being open, we subject ourselves to all kinds of forces. That is awesome! There is no shame in choosing what you wish to surround yourself with... being open also includes paying attention, I think. And then choosing.

Thoughts?

Brenda
[Last edited Jun 1, 2010 1:00 AM CST]
Quote | Post #244919 (4)
ImageTrish
Jun 1, 2010 8:56 AM CST
Name: Trish Whitinger
Jacksonville, TX
Helper and Wife of the Cubit Master
To me, being open means that I am prepared to accept what may come, not that bad things won't happen, but that if they do I can handle them.

One can shut down (close up) and self protect or heal for a bit, but I do believe that it is both harder and healthier to be open.

Interesting thoughts, Brenda!
My little spot
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Imagestilldew
Jun 1, 2010 9:51 AM CST
Name: Susan AKA lincolnitess
Southeast NE zone 5
Wise thoughts Brenda. I work as a mental health nurse and talk to people everyday who have just closed up totally or taken the easy way out by giving into anger and sadness to the point of becoming suicidal or even homicidal. Getting some of them to take that first step to open up and share even a little of their feelings can be a big challenge. It's good to have places like this and DG where we can express our feelings, but we do need to do so in a thoughtful way. I hope everyone is becoming a little more thoughtful now that the first feeling of anger and outrage at cooling down.
Imagebsavage
Jun 1, 2010 10:03 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Thanks Trish and Susan. And I agree, sometimes we need to heal, but as I always say, you never know what blessings are waiting just around the corner. Or as someone else said (I don't know who...), Don't quit before the miracle!
Imagetomatofreak
Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
"Being open means not getting hurt by these forces, but by protecting your creations and yourself from them."

Brenda, I'm not sure you meant it that way, "not getting hurt," but I think being open means knowing that you may get hurt at any time by anyone. People who close up tightly do so, I think, because they think they won't get hurt. And so they become like those Susan describes.

I can't count the times I've been hurt by being open to people I thought I knew, thought were 'good' (whatever that means), or thought had my best interests at heart. Along the way, I've been fooled, betrayed, sold out - and terribly hurt. But it's still in my DNA to be open. Otherwise, how could I have all the good experiences? Or learn from the bad ones?

Interestingly, over the years I've made great friends of 'enemies' and enemies of 'friends'. It's eye-opening to learn that some people love you as long as you do what they want. When you choose to follow your own heart, change your mind in the face of new evidence, and - god forbid - talk with *their* enemies, they turn their wrath on you. It takes a while, but you get over the hurt and find you don't miss them all that much - or at all.

Being open, to me, means being willing to take the trip whether it's smooth sailing or rough seas. Either way, it's interesting and if you maintain your integrity (by this I mean wholeness), you can come out the other side OK, grateful for the good and willing to give up the bad. That last part is sometimes terribly hard to do...
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagebsavage
Jun 1, 2010 10:41 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Alma, well said as always. Yes, you are correct on your take, sometimes I wish I could write more brilliantly. Indeed, getting hurt is part of life. Thankfully, so is healing. I love what your wrote.

Brenda
ImageWormslovUsharon
Jun 1, 2010 12:00 PM CST
Name: Sharon K. Winter
Las Vegas, NV
\"Mother Winter\"
I love all of you. Alma and Brenda, yes i have been hurt by a very best friend in business. When i discovered it I was told, this is business it has nothing to o with friendship. Well I hope he remembers what he did because that is the last time he saw my face or heard my voice. The pain goes away but the lesson is still there in the back of your head. Have a great day and i will see you here tomorrow.
If it is not going to affect you five years from now, do not let it get you down.
Imagebsavage
Jun 1, 2010 12:08 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Hi Sharon! So great to see you here! You have a great day, too!
Imagetomatofreak
Jun 1, 2010 1:25 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Brenda, I've read enough of your writing to understand what you meant. And I know you were hurt by the business that caused you and Tony to leave your home and move to CO. But look what happened! Sometimes these blessings come in disguise, wouldn't you say? Smiling
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
grmesue
Jun 1, 2010 1:32 PM CST
Name: Sue
Southeast Arizona
Alma, Everyday now I am using the help you have provided during this time I have needed a little boost! "When you wake up, get up. When you get up, do something." has been a daily reminder and some days it's working! THX
Imagetomatofreak
Jun 1, 2010 11:46 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
That brought a smile! It's been my motto for years now and - like you say - most times it works. Hilarious! Now I need to find one for this time of night.
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagebsavage
Jun 2, 2010 1:31 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Alma, I love that message too. I think it is quite brilliant!

At this time of night, if I can't sleep, either I don't fight it (which often seems to be the best answer)... so I get up and find inspiration, solace, friendship, or whatever with my friends online, or I try the following: when I still want to sleep, I use an old technique... first, I probably can do nothing about whatever my brain has latched onto *in the middle of the night*. Second, I remind myself that I am better, stronger, smarter on full sleep. Third, I visually/mentally take each thing that is making my brain work overtime and put them in a virtual paper bag. I fill the bag and mentally put it at the foot of my bed, It will all be there for me tomorrow, when I am stronger for having slept. Sometimes, I find yoga breathing to be helpful. Sounds silly, but putting your concerns in a virtual paperbag (and closing it until morning) really works for me.

Brenda
Imagetomatofreak
Jun 2, 2010 7:16 AM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
I'm going to try that technique, Brenda. I have one that *sometimes* works when I need to turn my brain off. (Why don't brains come with switches, anyhow?) I have a 'cleaning lady' that I turn loose with a broom. With my eyes closed, I 'see' her sweeping away all the stuff cluttering up the place. When I first tried this, it worked surprisingly well, but like medication, it loses effectiveness after a while. I needed something new - and here it is.

Oh yeah, you'll notice I'm posting quite early (for me). I went to sleep OK; I just woke up at 4:30. At 5:30, I gave up, got up and I'm doing something! Whistling
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagebsavage
Jun 2, 2010 10:00 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
LOL, good for you, Alma! I like the cleaning lady visualization as well. Hope while you're doing something that you are having a lovely day.

Brenda
ImageAguane
Jun 3, 2010 4:09 PM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
I’ve taken a lot of what you’ve all expressed to heart. Such an interesting topic of discussion, Being Open. Always good insight found on this site and thanks, Brenda, for posing this. Coincidentally, I have been thinking along slightly different lines. I took a trip to San Francisco in early May and realized about 2-3 weeks prior to leaving I was beginning to prepare to look at things differently. I could sense it. Last weekend the learnings were pretty apparent and surprisingly, they apply here, in my mind.

Being Open. Preparation, Action, Perception, Learning. It’s like blazing a path. Prepare for your journey, jump into your journey, pay attention to the signs, be aware along the way. Then, Retreat. Take a small, intentional detour along the way to rest and reflect. Be quiet and be open to learnings. Let things settle a little and watch for new opportunities, new beginnings.

Retreat, and don’t mean it in a negative, fearful context, is natural. Give things time to rest and “be open” to new opportunities. New paths, working with changes.

This kind of "being open" is reflection and observing, then proceeding with new information.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
ImageAguane
Jun 3, 2010 10:55 PM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
Imagebsavage
Jun 3, 2010 11:53 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Susie, so very, very well said. You seem to always have a peaceful insight, even when your world isn't always going the way you planned. And I've seen you exhibit amazing grace and dignity since I've known you. (Gotta be several years now!). You are one of the most 'open' people I know. Any tips or techniques as to how you always maintain your uniqueness, and your ability to be very thankful for and mindful of each blessing that comes your way, would be most appreciated.

Brenda

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