Friends and Caregivers forum: Support for Sandy & her dear friend Chris

 
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Imageilovejesus99
Jan 8, 2012 1:26 PM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
Admin note: We started this thread over on the Welcome forum and then moved it here. Please share the link to this thread with other breast cancer survivors and those who were with them through treatment, so we can help Sandy as she supports her friend during this tough time. Thanks!

Hi everyone. I am not sure I am in the right place as it is a very dear friend of mine that has stage 4 BC of the liver. I have only known her 14 months but she tells me that she had BC in 2003 and lost her left breast. Last Oct. 2 weeks after I met her she was diagnosed. She is on her 3rd different chemo. after almost a year here pet scan showed the tumor had shrunk down to 1/4th its size. They changed her chemo and after 3 weeks the pain in her back was severe. They did a ct scan and said the liver looked great but the blood work shows the cancer is progressing. during this process she was off chemo for 3 weeks and her back quit hurting.

Blood work still showed progression. They put her on the chemo that covers all cancers. Bone, Brain, etc. Within 3 days she couldn't walk she was so weak and wobbly. This was the 18th of Dec. I didn't think she would make it till Christmas. She gained some strength back and they skipped the next weeks chemo. She ate so well over Christmas. They have placed her on prednisone for her liver and she has been getting some more energy and gained 6 lbs. She was losing between 1 and 4 lbs a week. I am afraid the prednisone is giving her a false sense of wellness. This last week her urine turned dark. I made her drink more water as I was thinking dehydration. I went online and it says the liver can cause it too. Last Wed. when she had chemo she ask for fluids and they did a urine test. They called her Fri and said the dr wants to see her Monday which is tomorrow. Today she just called and said she is shaky all over. She can not keep her balance and is weak. I just called her and if her friend can come get me I am going over today. (my truck blew a head gasket so I am without transportation Sad

I am really worried for her. This last week she was doing so well but as I said I am afraid the Prednisone is giving her a false sense of wellness. I try to stay with her atleast 1 day a week and every other weekend. Any info would be much appreciated. Lovey dubby

I know God is still in the work of creating miracles but if it doesn't happen very soon I am afraid Chris will not be here but a few more months. Believe me she is giving it a good fight!!!! and will not give up and I am in it for the long haul. Thumbs up As she says she will keep on going till.....

Thanks for being here.

http://cleaningforareason.org/ Chris lives 20 miles outside of Houston TX in a very big area and they are not available to her.

Imagevic
Jan 8, 2012 1:58 PM CST
Name: Vicki
North Carolina
Sandy, I'm so very sorry about your dear friend Chris.

I so wish I had info to give you but I don't.

I do have lots of prayers for you and your dear friend though and I'm thankful she will be seeing a doctor tomorrow.

I'm sure she is so grateful for your help and friendship. Bless you... Lovey dubby
Imagecritterologist
Jan 8, 2012 4:28 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Sandy, I'm glad you posted here! I hope the doctor will have some good input for Chris tomorrow, and I hope you'll be able to spend some time with her this week.

I started a new discussion thread over in the chemo forum, http://cubits.org/metoo/thread/view/65784/ If Chris can't get online herself, feel free to post about her fight there and we'll be there to support you both and provide any coping tips we can think of!

Also, either you or I can start a support thread for the two of you over on the "Friends & Care-givers" forum, maybe just starting with the info you posted above. That would give us a place where we could focus on your friend Chris together, maybe starting with the information you posted above. Just let me know! Group hug
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
Imagehaighr
Jan 8, 2012 4:53 PM CST
Name: Candee Gaye
Western Maryland
Been there, Done that!
Dear friend, you are in the right place and thanks for coming here. I hope we can give you some support through this time. I know first hand what it is like to stand by as someone you love slips away before your eyes. I pray that Chris gets some good information tomorrow and feels better as time goes forward.
Hugs,
Candee
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Imageilovejesus99
Jan 8, 2012 7:15 PM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
I just talked to her. Her DGS and DDIL came by and she was so happy. One of her DS's took her out to eat lastnight and it was his DW and DS that came by. There is a place in Houston called Harwin Drive where so many things are sold dirt cheap. A place where some dollar stores get their really nice jewelry and stuff. I have wanted to go for years and Chris has too. Her DDIL is going to take us Tues. Last week one of our therapist ask what we would like to do before we died. I was not there but I ended up asking Chris if there was something she really wanted to do. She could not think of anything. I said what about Harwin and she said OHHHHH Yes. She mentioned it to her DS and he said Tam would take us. They are so busy I figured it would be a while. Today her DDIL told her we would go Tues. I am so excited to share this with her.

Jill I would love if you started a thread. I will go tommorrow and spend the night and stay Tuesday night and again stay Fri, Sat and Sun. with her. I hope she feels wonderful and full of energy on Tues. I can't wait to see her face.....Also tomorrow I will be giving her the doily I bought from Candee (haighr) I love it so much I was going to keep it Drooling .... *Blush* But my DS said to order myself one so I did. I am going to frame mine. It is sooo AMAZING!!!! Lovey dubby Can't wait to see Chris face. Lovey dubby Angel
Imageilovejesus99
Jan 9, 2012 3:21 PM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
I could not get a ride from the center today Grumbling as we have some horrible storms and they were going to let them out at 11 am. Meanwhile I told Chris and she said she is still shaking and dropping everything. Brandy went to here home to take her to her Dr appt and found Chris in the floor. She had fallen and hit her head. She called 911 and when I talked to Brandy she said it was the size of a tennis ball when she found Chris and she was lying in a pool of blood. She is taking a baby aspirin and blood thinner. Brandy said it ended up just a small scratch. OMGosh. They are keeping Chris because of the Jerking (not shaking) I so wish I had a car or access to get Chris' car. She and Brandy are going to call when they get her in the room. I am really worried about her.

No shopping for us. We were going to have to postpone as I had no way to get to her house but now she is in the Hosp. I am afraid that this is not going to turn out well. Please keep praying for Chris and for Me. .
Imageilovejesus99
Jan 9, 2012 3:48 PM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
I could not get a ride from the center today as we have had some horrible storms and they were going to let them out at 11 am. Meanwhile I told Chris and she said she is still shaking and dropping everything. Brandy went to her home to take her to her Dr appt and found Chris in the floor. She had fallen and hit her head. She called 911 and when I talked to Brandy she said it was the size of a tennis ball when she found Chris and she was lying in a pool of blood. She is taking a baby aspirin and blood thinner. Brandy said it ended up just a small scratch. OMGosh. They are keeping Chris because of the Jerking (not shaking) I so wish I had a car or access to get Chris' car. She and Brandy are going to call when they get her in the room. I am really worried about her.

Yes I love the car. I am still thinking about it. I hope they fix the A/C and make sure it works if I buy it.

No shopping for us. We were going to have to postpone as I had no way to get to her house but now she is in the Hosp. I am afraid that this maybe it. Lovey dubby Confused Crying Sticking tongue out Group hug
Imagecritterologist
Jan 9, 2012 3:50 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Sandy, dear heart, I'm holding your hand and praying with you.
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
Imagevic
Jan 9, 2012 5:59 PM CST
Name: Vicki
North Carolina
Sandy, prayers continue for both of you. Lovey dubby
Imageilovejesus99
Jan 9, 2012 8:31 PM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
I have not heard for hours. I just texted Brandy and her son. I sure hope they don't leave me out of the loop. Does anyone know what the jerking could be? I am sooooo worried out of my mind I can't think straight. OH God I don't want this to be her time. I am not ready to say good bye. I HATE not having a vehicle. Especially now. I feel so helpless.

Brian is letting me use his truck just heard Chris liver is failing. Don't know when I will be online again. Pray for her family.

Imagecritterologist
Jan 9, 2012 9:34 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Safe drive, Sandy. If your strength fails and you feel helpless, I pray God's strength will fill you, bringing peace and comfort and healing to Chris and her family, wrapping all of you in His love.
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
Imageilovejesus99
Jan 10, 2012 1:05 AM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
I am home. Chris was resting when I got there. I talked to Brandy. They are calling in hospice. Chris' liver is failing. They did an MRI to see if it has went to her brain. The dr will meet with them @ 4 tomorrow. Her son apologized for not being able to get me there today any sooner. I told him I did not expect that and not to worry. Her sugar was 284 so the gave her 4 units of insulin and her night meds and she was out for the night.

I tried to update her from my phone and my phone froze. It will not turn off or do anything. The backlight is stuck on and the battery is not removable. Just when I need the............thing. All my numbers are in there and I can text her son and Brandy atleast. Her son looked at it and Brian looked at it and they couldn't figure it out. I plugged it into the charger hoping it would help but nothing.

I am getting a headache. This has been a really bad day. First Chris took a fall was was taken to the hosp. Really Bad storms today and my new roof leaked. lost electric for several hours. I called the roofer and he gave me heck I was 2 days late paying him. I said when you come see the leaks I will give you your money....He said be there this afternoon. The roofer was a real grrrr. It was a good thing Brian was here. I took him out to the room leaking and he tried to tell us the ceiling was not wet. He kept showing me his fingers and saying it is not wet. I finally said so are you trying to say we put the water in the pans under the leaks? WTHeck He said nothing. Brian kept telling him he could feel the dampness and was the one who put the pans under the leaks...no it is not soaking wet as it only leaked when the rain was at its hardest. He finally said he would send the roofers out tomorrow. Brian told him again they he would not put a little water in a pan and set it there.......I paid him the 200 I owed him and away he went. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

DS got home and was not a happy camper. He said he hoped the roofer did not get angry and revoke his 10 year labor warranty. I said let him go ahead I still owe him 4800 dollars out of 9000 dollars. mmmm wonder who will lose the most?? Can we say not me????

I guess I am going to go take my meds and go to bed. I ask Chris son and Brandy to please not exclude me from the rest of the time she has. They will move her to Brandys house to stay as hospice cares for her. Her son said they will make sure she gets to go to Harwin if she gains any strength back. They will get her a wheelchair.

Thanks all for being here for me and I wish Chris could see this sight and how all of you are praying for her.

Blessings to all,
Sandy
Imagevic
Jan 10, 2012 4:27 AM CST
Name: Vicki
North Carolina
Sandy, take a deep breath and know that God is in the details here. They may not be what you want or hoping for but know that He will forever and always take good care of Chris, all of us for that matter Lovey dubby

Praying for all of you.
Imagehaighr
Jan 10, 2012 6:21 AM CST
Name: Candee Gaye
Western Maryland
Been there, Done that!
Sandy, try to settle down and as Vicki says take some long deep breaths. You have so much going on right now and we don't need you sick when Chris needs you at your best.
The roof will get fixed and the finances will get handled, those things can be taken care of. Right now you must think of yourself and your friend and save all the energy you can muster for each other. Don't let the daily snafoos in life zap your energy.
I am glad that she will move into Brandy's and have help from Hospice. That will be a big relief to everyone knowing that she has resources of support in these days ahead. We are all joined in prayer for Chris that her days ahead may be filled with the best quality of life that can be provided and that she will have peace and comfort. She is so fortunate to have a friend who care so deeply and I assure you that means a lot to her especially right now.
Hugs,
Candee
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careyana
Jan 10, 2012 6:38 AM CST
Name: Carey
Austin, TX
Well said Candee.

Sandy, you know we are all praying for you, Chris and her family. It sounds as if there is love and understanding in her home which will help ease so much of her pain. Hospice will be the best situation for her as she will have excellent care and surrounded by love. As for everything else, God is in the details. Worry about Chris, the rest will take care of itself.
Imagecritterologist
Jan 10, 2012 1:02 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Sandy, I hope you got some healing rest last night. It will be good to have the knowledge and compassion that hospice will bring, and I'm glad to hear she'll be at Brandy's home, although I'm sure she'd rather have stayed in her own place (she sounds feisty that way, like you). Good for you sticking up for yourself with that roofer; I agree, if he wants to be paid in full the roof needs to be a good one with no leaks! Sheesh. Hope you're able to get your phone working. Yes, God is in all those details, and I pray He will help get everything smoothed out.

Group hug to you and to Chris and to her family!
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
ImageLeBug
Jan 10, 2012 7:36 PM CST
Name: LeBug 6b
Greenville, In.
Sandy prayers are going out for you Chris and her family hope you still have the truck and were able to go see Chris today.
Imageilovejesus99
Jan 10, 2012 10:01 PM CST
Name: Sandy
Texas 9b
My truck blew its head gasket 4 months ago....:( I was able to see Chris today. hey are stopping Chris' chemo. The dr says it is harming her more than doing good. She told Chris her cancer is growing and it is starting to take a tole. They are giving her 2 units of blood in hopes it restores some energy. They are giving her fluids and she was more alert her son said even since this morning. She ate so very well. 2 vanilla pudding, some roast (a few bites) a few bites of turnip greens and mashed potatoes , some peaches and 3/4th of an Ice cream sandwich and 2 pieces of mounds candy :) That was Amazing. She still can't hold anything as she drops it. She is doing good. The liver is failing and hospice is being called to Brandy's house (she is a friend of the family) I have some more good news also but am tired. I had a terrible night. 1 hour sleep and alot of crying. I am doing better but not sure I feeling like typing it out.. The doctor said hospice can be rescinded if she gets a lot better as this could go one for a while...only God really knows.

I am excited for her and her family as she has more life to live atleast for now. :) Arrangements are taken care of for me to have a way bak and forth to see Chris. Brandy lives 50 miles away but I told her I may be camping out on her lawn. :) because I am in this for the long haul.

Love and Hugs
Sandy
Imagecritterologist
Jan 10, 2012 10:46 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Bless you, Sandy. Angel
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
Imagehaighr
Jan 11, 2012 7:22 AM CST
Name: Candee Gaye
Western Maryland
Been there, Done that!
Bless your heart Sandy. You are exactly what the doctor and God has ordered for Chris. You are helping her now far more than you even know.
But take care of yourself first. As my dear friend Barbara said many times before she passed last August. "Don't you dare cry for me while I am living, I want you to laugh, save your tears for when I am gone!" She was so special and she was right.
Try to relax a bit yourself, get some rest and save your tears, Chris is still with you.
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[Last edited Jan 11, 2012 8:07 AM CST]
Quote | Post #813126 (20)

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