Community Circles of Support forum: Support for Marti (Mary) and Mindy03 (Margaret)

 
Page 1 of 33 • 1 2 3 4 5 ... 33

Views: 37, Replies: 644 » Jump to the end
Imagemarti
Apr 22, 2012 9:31 PM CST
Name: Mary (Marti) Nelson
Ventura, CA
Peace and long life
Hi, gang! You all know me as Marti.
A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with bi-latral Ductal Carcinoma after a biopsy.
the first onocologist I was sent to left me feeling abandoned and not worth her time. because I could not pay my 20 % up front for treatment. She was more concerned with her wallet than a patient's needs
I was lost! Than a very nice lady suggested that I contact the onocology department at the Ventura County Medical Center. When I went there and talked to Cindy and started telling her how I didn't have my 20% of the medicare to pay up front and what was I going to do? She stopped me and said, "We don't talk about money right now, first we talk about you and how we can help you and we have programs to help pay that 20% and a very easy payment plan we can also offer. Tomorrow I will see the Onocologist at VCMC for the first time. I am scared and depressed. I'm trying to keep happy thoughts as I am living with my son and DIL and grandson and I don't want to worry them. I've half a mind to return to KY so they do not have to go thru this with me.
Tahlmorra lujhala mei wiccan
(The fate of a man rests always within the hands of the gods)
Imagesallyg
Apr 23, 2012 6:54 AM CST
Name: Sally
central Maryland
slef employed writier
Marti, what a great thing you found the Ventura Med Center, they sound like really good people.
My thoughts are with you. I'm sure others will be along here shortly too. I can sure understand your shock and sadness. This is 'easy for me to say' but try not to think too far ahead and assume anything worse than what you are told. Helped my mom with her leukemia; My BIL has been living with a couple of cancer threats for a couple of years, so I do know that there is initial shock and also great possibility of things not being "as bad" as what we fear.
I hope your visit goes very well.
Sally
"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy" W. Haelfeli, New Yorker cartoon
Imagevic
Apr 23, 2012 7:13 AM CST
Name: Vicki
North Carolina
Marti - First of all - a big HUG Group hug Group hug

Take deep breaths!

I am a 15 year breast cancer survivor! There - you already feel better, huh? Lovey dubby

Please feel free to ask anything!

Imagemarti
Apr 23, 2012 8:12 AM CST
Name: Mary (Marti) Nelson
Ventura, CA
Peace and long life
If I've been told rightly, my lumps are the size of a pea. So my MD says we caught it early. I'll see what the oncologist says this afternoon.
Thanks for the good thoughts. I'll keep you informed.
Group hug
Tahlmorra lujhala mei wiccan
(The fate of a man rests always within the hands of the gods)
Imagecritterologist
Apr 23, 2012 9:57 AM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Early is good!! I'm also very thankful you found that medical center and such a supportive admin person in Cindi.

Big hugs coming your way... Group hug

It's a shock, but as Sally said, take it one step at a time. It's hard going through all the diagnostic phases and waiting for information when you want to act *now*. I know my first reaction was, "Take them both off! I have a baby girl at home! Take them both off right now!!" But that didn't turn out to be the best treatment plan for me at all.

Don't move away from your family now... imagine how you would feel if your DIL had a similar diagnosis, moved to FL and then started treatment there because she didn't want you or the rest of her family to worry about her. If you move that shoe to the other foot, sometimes the situation becomes more clear! I'm glad you have family right there, although I know that doesn't always make you feel less alone or less scared when you're initially hit with this diagnosis.

You're not alone. As Candee told me when we were first diagnoses, "welcome to the sorority nobody wants to join." There's power in numbers... I think this must be one of the best-researched disorders. Once you know more exactly what you're dealing with, you'll have a clear plan of treatment. So, one step at a time... and be sure to keep us posted!!
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
Imagemarti
Apr 23, 2012 5:30 PM CST
Name: Mary (Marti) Nelson
Ventura, CA
Peace and long life
I saw the oncologist at VCMC today. What a difference in treatment and attitude. She was very upset for me when I told her the other cocologist's attitude. She said her worry was not about money but in seeing that I got the best care they could offer. She is referring me to the surgeon and if all goes right I should have surgery in 2-3 weeks. She also is referring me to a shrink because of the diagnoses and my bi-polar diagnoses. So things are going right along and she says if the surgeon and I decide on a totla masectony that I am also covered for breast reconstruction. AND I get to pick the size I want. I'm thinking a C cup. Rolling my eyes. Sticking tongue out
Tahlmorra lujhala mei wiccan
(The fate of a man rests always within the hands of the gods)
Imagesallyg
Apr 23, 2012 6:05 PM CST
Name: Sally
central Maryland
slef employed writier
The new doc sounds like a real blessing.
You sound much releived- C cup Whistling Smiling
"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy" W. Haelfeli, New Yorker cartoon
ImageLaVonne
Apr 23, 2012 7:56 PM CST
Name: Dorothy (LaVonne) Mitchell
Somerset, KY

Hi everyone: I am Dorothy (LaVonne) here on Cubits and Marti is my sister. I live in Ky and she knows she can come back here anytime. She and I have talked and agree that right now she needs to stay there in Calif. and get herself well. She has other issues that have to be addressed and they are best taken care of at the Medical Center. My only regret is that I can't be there with her. When she lived here in Ky with me she was my rock through a rough time. Had it not been for her timely arrival I would most likely have died. So see I owe her my life and she is my best friend and my sister.

I know our Higher Power will take care of her.
http://cubits.org
http://cubits.org/gourds/
http://cubits.org/Diabetes/
http://cubits.org/DMEnterprises/store

Tahlmorra lujhala mei wiccan
(The fate of a man rests always within the hands of the gods)
Imagetaters55
Apr 23, 2012 8:28 PM CST
Name: Linda Cartwright
Del Rio, Texas
Glad to hear you got a better Dr. Marti! Were all here with you giving lots of Group hug and prayers!
A Crafty Cubit
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. James Dean

ImageTallulah_B
Apr 23, 2012 9:15 PM CST
Name: Susan MacKenzie
Torrington, Alberta, Canada
World Famous Gopher Hole Museum
Hi all - I'm here because Dorothy/Lavonne told me about Marti, and I want to show my support of a wonderful person who's been Dorothy's "rock. I'm so glad you're getting the support you need, from this 2nd oncologist. The last thing you needed with your initial scare was an uncaring Dr! Bless your new doc!!

as a btw - my sister Alice is a 13 year survivor of lung cancer! She was told at the end of Dec that her cancer (after 3 lung surgeries) was growing, then at the beginning of Feb she was told it was Shrinking and Cancer doesn't do that without treatment, so they confirmed It Is Not Cancer........... I know it's not BC which it seems everyone has been talking about, but she's a woman who has Survived Cancer! No, she never had BC so I don't suppose it "moved" to another part. She's 70
My sister Evelyn is a BC survivor - had her surgery 8 years ago. She's now 73
My sister Ruth........ well, she went for a "study" for bone mass, and they found she had "pre-cancerous cells" in her uterus. They cleared they out, and she never developed cancer. She's 68
Before I was 50, the Drs refused to check me for BC because I Wasn't 50 and the health plan didn't pay for checking before age 50. I stormed about and told them I had 3 sisters with cancer, and they were to check me NOW. They did, and said I have cysts, but not the cancerous types (can't remember what they called them......)
Anyway, I'm very lucky to have my 3 sisters as Survivors, and to be cancer-free myself (heck even my dad had cancer).

I am now 58, and very glad I don't have to "belong" but sure want to give all the support I can, to women who Care for each other.
Marti - obviously, with all the survivors here, and the new technologies, you too will be "a survivor"!!!

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
Get Fit with me
Imagecritterologist
Apr 23, 2012 9:17 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
LaVonne, I should have known she had family back in KY too! Sorry, I can never seem to manage to keep family connections straight.

Marti, I'm glad your appointment went so well! Hooray for doctors and clinics with the "right kind" of attitude toward their patients, caring for the whole person and wanting them to get the best possible care... too bad that's not simply the way it is everywhere, as it's certainly the way it ought to be!

If your cancer is in situ (not spread beyond the ducts), you might have more options with regard to breast-conserving surgery... You may want to check out our "Coping with Surgery" forum; I think there's some good information there. http://cubits.org/metoo/forums/view/copingwithsurgery/

Also, both the American Cancer Society and Susan B. have "buddy" programs (ACS calls theirs "Reach to Recovery") where they pair you up with a cancer survivor, somebody who has "been there done that"... we are all here also, but sometimes it helps to have that kind of one on one connection. One of the first things I did when diagnosed was to call the ACS 800 number... they sent me information by email, by DVD, answered my most urgent questions, and basically made me feel like whatever problem I encountered, somebody there could help me find an answer. http://www.cancer.org/index or 1-800-227-2345.

Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
ImageLaVonne
Apr 23, 2012 9:22 PM CST
Name: Dorothy (LaVonne) Mitchell
Somerset, KY

You all are so great...I know she feels the warmth of your love and support.
http://cubits.org
http://cubits.org/gourds/
http://cubits.org/Diabetes/
http://cubits.org/DMEnterprises/store

Tahlmorra lujhala mei wiccan
(The fate of a man rests always within the hands of the gods)
Imagecritterologist
Apr 23, 2012 9:25 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Susan, took me a while to hit "send" on the above, and I missed your post... I've been absolutely blown away by the support I received from friends and family and online friends and even total strangers... I hope you didn't take my comment about the "sorority" as being in any way dismissive... cancer touches all our lives in some way, I think, and that's why there are (thankfully) so many people pushing and praying for a cure and ready to reach out any time, anywhere.
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
ImageTallulah_B
Apr 23, 2012 9:34 PM CST
Name: Susan MacKenzie
Torrington, Alberta, Canada
World Famous Gopher Hole Museum
oh Jill - I Certainly did not feel like I or my comments were being "dismissed".
My goodness - I know so many people that have been touched by cancer, that it touches me too.
I feel blessed to know these people, simply because of their caring hearts toward those who are "suffering the long road" that they have also travelled.
I took a long time to hit "send" on my post, too. When 3 out of 4 siblings (I have a brother too) have had cancer or brushes with it, and one of my 2 parents have had cancer (my dad passed away 30 years ago at age 80), I certainly know the devastation it causes within a family.
Bless you all for your support of those who, like Marti, are newly going through the scare of being diagnosed, and those who are survivors!

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
Get Fit with me
Imagecritterologist
Apr 23, 2012 9:48 PM CST
Name: Critter (Jill)
MD
Susan, your family certainly has been through the wringer... and it's encouraging to know your sisters are 20+ years older than I am now! Treatments sure do advance every year. It's amazing. I think the stats going back maybe 15 years are for better than 90% 5 year survival rate for earliest-stage BC... and I've read that now it's very nearly 100%.
Circles of Support for Breast Cancer
I'm learning to dance in the rain! Thank you, Sally & Chris.
ImageTallulah_B
Apr 23, 2012 10:41 PM CST
Name: Susan MacKenzie
Torrington, Alberta, Canada
World Famous Gopher Hole Museum
There ya go, Jill!!
dunno if you remember me from DG - and I think you're on ATP?
anyway, I figure my mom has been more "through the wringer" with her husband passing from bone cancer, and her three daughters working their way through it........ and the 2 youngest in the family don't have it... thank goodness!
She's 93 and has seen a lot. Lovey dubby

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
Get Fit with me
Imagehaighr
Apr 24, 2012 5:50 AM CST
Name: Candee Gaye
Western Maryland
Been there, Done that!
Hello Marti and everyone. I must say it is unfortunate that the first doctor you encountered was not in your best interest, but that is not unusual. At our monthly BCA meeting we too hear horror stories of doctors around the tri-state who can't seem to connect. Sometimes it is just the chemistry between patient and doctor and sometimes it is an uncaring physician. The important thing is that you did find someone who is caring and will fight for your treatments. Keep in mind that you too must fight to get that best treatment sometimes, so if things don't seem right to you, then you need to speak up. I find that in this day and age we have to be our own advocates when it comes to proper treatment.
Now off my bandwagon and want to say how glad I am that you are staying put and have such a great support team of family and friends around you, that is a necessity for getting through your treatments.
Just slow down and take things one day at a time. Have someone with you when you go to appointments if that is at all possible, take notes and write down your questions before you go. Don't be afraid to ask anything no matter how insignificant you think it may sound.
Now keep a smile on your face and think positive thoughts, if you feel a bit down that is typical, we have all felt that way at one time or another. Just be as tough as you can, face whatever comes your way in as much a positive manner as you can and as our dear friend, Ladygardener1, used to tell us "learn to dance in the rain".
Candee
Put your hands to work in these cubits: Arrangements 101 and/or Hands at Work
Share your travels with us at: Travel Junction - Contest
Imagetaters55
Apr 24, 2012 6:59 AM CST
Name: Linda Cartwright
Del Rio, Texas
Marti, it sure looks like you have friends here in your corner! Thanks so much for speaking out and giving all the advice!
Jill, how are you doing, and how is that precious little one doing? I bet she is getting so big now?
I have a friend in San Antonio, that is going through chemo for uterine cancer, she has one more treatment left, and it is really kicking her butt, but she has a close friend (another breast cancer survivor) that goes to every treatment with her. She is really glad she has that friend by her side.
A Crafty Cubit
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. James Dean

ImageMoonhowl
Apr 24, 2012 7:07 AM CST
Name: Jean
Prairieville, LA
In the eyes of a child you will see
Hello and big hugs to all you beautiful, strong ladies. While I am not a "Sorority" member myself I am a staunch supporter of you all. My next door neighbor is a three year survivor and our dear Marti is just beginning her road to recovery. Group hug I can not think of a better place for her to be than here where everyone knows how important love and support and a positive outlook are. I am familiar with so many of you from Cubits and DG, so feel like you are all members of the family. There you may know me as Moonhowl.

Thanks to you all for being so open, honest and brave.

Jean
What I don't know is why books are written.
ImageRidesredmule
Apr 24, 2012 7:33 AM CST
Name: Charleen
Barnesville, Ga. Zone 7b-8
Walk in Peace / I'm Charley's Mom.
Marti knows she is loved. We are all here for all of you.

Page 1 of 33 • 1 2 3 4 5 ... 33

« Back to the top
« Cubits.org homepage
« Circles of Support for Breast Cancer cubit homepage
« Community Circles of Support forum

You must first create a username and login before you can reply to this thread.

Circles of Support for Breast Cancer

discussion forums, resource links, and personal circles of support

» Home
» Forums
» Links

Cubit owner: critterologist

Admin team:

We expect everyone to be courteous and respectful members of this "me too" community. This is not a place for profanity, political or religious debate, or controversial or disruptive posts. Please don't add or copy photos to or from this site without permission from the image's owner.