Words forum: You think English is easy??

 
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ImageHappyJackMom
Apr 15, 2012 11:10 AM CST
Name: Donna Yates
Happy Jack, AZ - Zone 5a
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present..

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? We have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP. Thumbs up
[Last edited Apr 15, 2012 11:12 AM CST]
Quote | Post #856288 (1)
ImageLaVonne
Apr 15, 2012 1:19 PM CST
Name: Dorothy (LaVonne) Mitchell
Somerset, KY

Amazing! The English language or should I say the American language is so confusing sometimes and funny the rest of the time. Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
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Tahlmorra lujhala mei wiccan
(The fate of a man rests always within the hands of the gods)
ImageSharon
May 11, 2012 11:39 PM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
Donna, I don't know how I missed this, but missed it, I did.

And isn't it the truth. I don't know how anybody in their right mind could even ever learn all there is to know about English. And once learned, then there are the various sounds from even within a single state.

And did you ever try to talk with someone from England? Impossible. And I have some very good friends who live there or are from there. We communicate much better by writing.

Thank you for this fun read!
ImageHappyJackMom
May 14, 2012 10:06 AM CST
Name: Donna Yates
Happy Jack, AZ - Zone 5a
When I come across articles like this, I can Not, not read it. It's kind of like Dr. Seuss books. I never really liked Dr. Seuss, but the children would bring them home and I just HAD to read them. I have no idea why! Rolling on the floor laughing I guess I'm, just strange. Rolling my eyes.
ImageSharon
May 14, 2012 10:36 AM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
Not strange at all. I love to read Dr. Seuss books out loud!

And that was a great article, thanks for sharing.
KAMasud
Jan 20, 2013 8:22 AM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing This is rich.
Regards,
Arif.
Sharon I will have to show this to my youngest Thumbs up
ImageSharon
Jan 20, 2013 10:01 AM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
Interesting, isn't it?

And how many languages do your children speak?
KAMasud
Jan 20, 2013 9:20 PM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Their grounding in English is extensive. Not many, Urdu and English. While Urdu, they can only speak it. Lax of the mother, Shrug! I don't have the basic grounding. The youngest one loves reading the Thesaurus and I distinctly remember her cackling away at the meanings of pest. I call her a pest and that "UP" should have her in peals.
Regards,
Arif.
ImageSharon
Jan 20, 2013 10:03 PM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
The more you correspond with members here and at ATP, the better I understand you. So is it just my understanding that is improving or are you using English more fluidly. But I'll bet you've always been fluent in English.
KAMasud
Jan 21, 2013 7:35 AM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Sharon, I spent twenty years of my life in the rural areas. It is a rough place with its own set of rules which are strictly enforced. Justifiable or not Shrug! . Leave English and Urdu aside, I was thinking, dreaming and living in local dialects. I had to dream in order to learn them. My English was fluent but it had become rusty due to disuse. Spelling mistakes were common, grammar and composition were still intact. Then we have our own variety of English in which we have more of our own words. These words were a part of colonial English(Anglo-Indian) and excepted as a part of English by the British. No more current in standard English but you will find them in mine. Sometimes I get caught and then I have to look up dictionaries and provide links.
Maybe you are correct only use can bring it back and an International crowd whose mother tongue is English, what better place can there be?
I have not been able to find a compatible power supply, so I am cutting short my visit while I charge the battery with an alternative power supply. I tip my hat to you.
Regards,
Arif.
ImageSharon
Jan 21, 2013 11:46 AM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
I think you grasp subtle nuances that sometimes hide behind phrases and words, too, Arif.

I sure hope you get the battery charged soon!
We would miss you if you disappeared.
KAMasud
Jan 21, 2013 2:32 PM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Nuances of English Hurray! . Yes Sharon I do and I also make use of them. I will write some thing in plain language but to the relevant person it will give a different meaning while others get a different meaning. Call it ambiguity or nuances, no ambiguity is shear mischief while nuances is a kind of skilled sword play. Funny thing Sharon, you are the first person who has ever raised the subject of nuances of English. Tell me, how many people over there understand subtle shades of meaning, feeling or tone?
Power supply, just a matter of finding the correct one. Found it.
Regards,
Arif.
ImageSharon
Jan 21, 2013 2:51 PM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
In face to face conversation many people will look for nuances and subtle shades of meaning in faces. Not so much in the written word. Me, I do, because I play with words myself and enjoy finding others who also do that. Not many of us, though.

Too, there are speed readers out there and they miss subtle hints, nuances. Speed readers never taste the real flavor that words carry within.

The difference is like reading with your heart as opposed to eyes or ears. Smiling

KAMasud
Jan 22, 2013 5:17 AM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Speed readers, yes I do speed read but mostly technical stuff where I am involved in keyword searches but when I find them, then normal slow speed.
Yes Sharon you are correct. You need your heart to be in it. Mine has switched off these days for some reason.
That new power supply did not work and now I am using my youngest netbook so please forgive mistakes. Keyboard is not for my fingers.
Regards,
Arif.
ImageSharon
Jan 22, 2013 10:37 AM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
Sometimes hearts switch off when too many emotions are thrown at it.

I hope your computer decides to behave quickly.
KAMasud
Jan 22, 2013 2:23 PM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Rolling on the floor laughing My computer is becoming a pest and I have this 9 inches by 4 inches toy. Made for tiny fingers and sharp eyes but beggars cant be choosers. Smiling
Maybe that is also why my heart is not in a happy mood. Computer dependency or addiction? Same thing in the end.
Regards,
Arif.
ImageSharon
Jan 22, 2013 2:41 PM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
Computer problems take the joy right out of a day, don't they?

Hope you get yours into a better frame of mind soon, Arif!

And I have a phone that serves as a computer as well, but the keyboard is definitely too tiny for my fingers or eyes.
KAMasud
Jan 23, 2013 9:32 AM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Rolling on the floor laughing I also have a phone but other then keys I will also go all squinty eyes. Four power supplies failed now I have given the silly laptop to the shop to keep solving the problem of which power supply it will like. Branded computers can be quite choosy as to what powers them.
It is a i5 with video card. Three processors at 100% plus videocard running as CPU in OpenCL mode at 100%, while one processor at 60% feeding the video card. Let the shop solve it themselves. I wish they would hurry it up though. Bored stiff without it. I think my wife sometimes get angry at my love affair with a laptop Confused
Regards,
Arif.
ImageSharon
Jan 23, 2013 11:35 AM CST
Name: Sharon
Kentucky
Love affairs with laptops can easily create discord within a marriage. I used to also have that problem. Smiling

I really hope you get it up and running quickly, it gets a little lonely here in the middle of the night when you are not around to challenge my mind.
KAMasud
Jan 23, 2013 1:30 PM CST
Name: Arif Masud
Alpha Centauri.
Same here Sharon, same here. Sad
I can see better today, cleant all the peanut butter, egg, what not smudges of the screen and the keyboard plus getting faster at pecking at the keys.
Regards,
Arif.

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