OT forum: Somewhere we were discussing age ...

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Jun 4, 2010 1:13 PM CST
Name: Linda (Lin) Vosbury
Daytona Beach, Florida

I can't find the forum where some of us were discussing age. If I remember correctly it was in Dave's area and we all got off topic. I was in the process of typing something and when I hit the finished button everything disappeared, so I guess Dave erased the thread? I do get carried away and off topic quite often, LOL. Anyway, I can't remember who all was chatting there besides you and me, LOL but I said I would post this when I found it.
Some will understand completely and get a kick out of it. If this isn't the place, feel free to delete it to free up the space. I have no idea where this originated but it was passed around the office by a few ladies I worked with about 20 years ago.

Wasn't there some saying about heading into old age kicking and screaming?




A very weird thing happened recently ... a strange old lady has moved into my house! I have no idea who she is, where she came from or how she got in, I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't here and the next, there she was!

She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part but whenever I pass a mirror I catch a glimpse of her, and whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance there she is, hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body! She is very rude! I have tried screaming at her but she just screams back!

If she insists on hanging around the least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent. Every once in awhile I find a dollar bill tucked into a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion ... but it's not nearly enough!

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I really think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100 and a few days later it's all gone. I certainly don't spend money THAT fast so I can only conclude that the old lady is pilfering from me! You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy herself some wrinkle cream, Lord knows she needs it!

And, money isn't the only thing I think she's stealing. Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate ... especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies and candy. I can't seem to keep that stuff in the house anymore. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it because she's really packing on the pounds! I suspect she realizes it though because to make herself look better she's been tampering with my bathroom scales, to make me think that I'm putting on weight too. For an old lady, she is quite childish, she likes to play mean games like going into my closet when I'm not at home and altering my clothes so they don't fit me anymore!

And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized. She also fiddles with my VCR so it doesn't record what I have carefully and correctly programmed it to do. She's found other imaginative ways to annoy me too. She gets into my mail, newspapers and magazines before I do, and blurs the print so I can't read it. And, she's done something really strange to the volume controls on my TV, Radio and Telephone so that now all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

She has done other things like making my stairs steeper, my vacuum cleaner heavier and all my knobs and faucets hard to turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challange. Lately she has been fooling around with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids ... making it almost impossible for me to open the jars! Is this any way to repay my hospitality?

She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me!

Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner she proved me wrong.

She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my drivers license, and just as the camera shutter clicked she jumped in front of me! No one is ever going to believe the picture of that old lady is me!
Jun 4, 2010 6:50 PM CST
Name: Carolyn Akin
Roy, UT
Oh, my gosh, Lin! That is hilarious!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing,

Jun 4, 2010 7:08 PM CST
Name: Linda (Lin) Vosbury
Daytona Beach, Florida
I thought so too, and when we were discussing age earlier on another thread I remembered I still had it on my computer somewhere. It sure fits me to a T and I bet other's can relate. Hilarious!
Jun 4, 2010 7:24 PM CST
Name: Carol Noel
Hawaii (near Hilo)
It's all about choices.
YUP...I can relate!!
Leap. The net will appear.
Jun 4, 2010 7:37 PM CST
Name: Christine Wootton
Whitby, Ontario, Canada
Ooo, that hits far too close to home. Good one Lynn! Rolling on the floor laughing
Jun 5, 2010 6:35 AM CST
Name: Linda (Lin) Vosbury
Daytona Beach, Florida
I've always thought it was hilarious. It kinda fit ... even 20 years ago when I was only 42!

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