Roving Reporter: Funniest Thing That Happened (part 2)

By Nancy Polanski (nap) on August 1, 2011

The last Roving Reporter Spotlight, “What's the Funniest Thing You Ever Saw, Or Did, Or Had Happen To You?” was a big hit with our readers, and several of you asked for more! So today you'll find all new responses to that question, from a number of different members. You'll want to check it out!

If you missed the first article where this question was asked,* you can read it here.* And now, I hope you'll enjoy reading these additional amusing life stories. We all have them. I have my own as well. And I've been asked to share one or two of mine with you, so I'll start off today's article....

 

Nap: When our son was about three years old, my sister and brother-in-law took him for a special treat to a campground where they planned to spend the night. The next day, we drove out there to pick him up. He and I went for a walk, and he was pointing out all the things he'd done the day before with his aunt. “I rode that merry-go-round.” “That's where Aunt Bunny bought me an ice cream cone.” And so on.

There was a small lake, and he pointed to some swans floating on the water. He said, “And I feeded those things.” I said, “Say fed, Eric.” So he said, “And I feeded those feds!”

We still laugh about it and say “did you feed the feds, Eric?"

 

Oh, my husband thinks I should tell this other story too, because it's the funny story HE always tells.  Back in 1967, when we were newlyweds, we were at DisneyWorld in California.  We were on the Pirates of the Caribbean boat ride, sitting in the front seat.  As the ride came to the end, the boat surged into the place where we were to get off, and it seemed to be going pretty fast.  The young attendant was saying, "Step on the brake!  Step on the brake!"  I fumbled with my foot, but the boat suddenly stopped by itself.  A very long time later (years), we were talking about the ride with some friends and I happened to say, "....and then Bill found the brake."  He broke out in laughter because he didn't find the brake!  There was no brake!  It was just a game that the attendants play with the passengers.  He couldn't believe (and still tells people, decades later  ) that I thought he found the brake!!   


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Valleylynn: About 6 years ago I went to Kauai with my mom and 4 sisters. It was my first time to go to the Hawaiian Islands. We had a wonderful 9 days. It is tradition for us to bring back a rock of some kind from our travels. I found two lovely rocks on the beach that were about cantaloupe size. I put them in my carry on bag.

We got to the airport, I put the bag on the belt to go through the x-ray machine in the security area. My sister Kathy was right beside me as our purses and bags were going through at the same time. She picked hers up first and as I started to pick mine up the security person asked me if I knew about the legend of the curse that follows people that take rocks from the island. My sister turned around and looked at him and told him it was my breast implants in the bag. I was so mortified I must have turned every shade of red there is. He handed me the bag as he was trying to recover from some kind of seizure. ( Just want to let you all know it was not any kind of rocks that you should not take. )

 

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Quilter5: There were four of us. We four were going to have the vacation week to end all. Three of us were married and one was a widow. We are all quilters so we rented a summer home on Lake Winnepesaukee in the heart of New Hampshire. It so beautiful there and peaceful and we were looking forward to a week of sewing with NO distractions, husbands, children etc.

We arrived on a Saturday afternoon and checked the place out. It had two single bedrooms on the first floor and an open loft with two queen sized beds on the second floor. Well, one of us has bad leg problems so she got a first floor room. Another has a serious snoring problem so she got the other. That left my friend Jinny and I for the loft. So we lugged all our luggage up the stairs and checked out the room. It was so nice. It had it's own bath with shower and it also had a French door and a tiny balcony. We just loved it.

The very first day we were there, as we were unpacking, Jinny noticed a dark spot on the drape by MY bed. So of course I had to go see. It was a BAT!!!! Now the only thing I'm terrified of is spiders but now this was running a very close second. So here we are screeching! The girls downstairs are running to see what was the matter. Even Elaine with her bad legs came up the stairs. Jinny went into the bath and grabbed a towel. I knocked the bat off the drape and she corralled it on the floor with the towel. Now what do we do? This was a rented house and the owner lived in Massachusetts. So we called him and he told us that the gentleman next door kept an eye out for the property for him and to get in touch with him. Thank heaven he was home. He came over - looked at the towel on the floor and asked us what we wanted him to do with it!!! Here we all were huddled in a corner and he wants to know????? We were past the "big hair" days but none of us wanted a bat hanging around!!!! He got a broom and hit it (just to stun it - not to hurt it) and then he proceeded to take the bat out wrapped up in the towel and let it go. I don't know who was more afraid of it - us or him!!!

After that we never went upstairs without checking every nook and corner. We never did find out how it got in either. We proceeded to have a wonderful week of sewing and good companionship...and so many laughs over the bat in the belfry!!

 

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 Lance: Here is an amusing photo taken this winter (winter jacket, remember those?).  A fun caption like "The many uses for a dog crate", "How to keep both dogs and children under control and out of the way",  "Now he knows what it means to be in the doghouse!" could make this amusing.  Skye wanted to do this, and mostly enjoyed his time in there.  I thought it was a bit crowded, but he did fine after the initial getting stomped on by dogs wondering how to fit everyone in.

 

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Arejay59: One thing happened recently. It was funny when it happened. A friend of mine was on the phone with my brother. The conversation went on for a few minutes and I said, “Is that Eric?” “Yes,” she said. I said, “Can I talk to him for a minute?” “Sure,” she said. She passes me the phone. I am talking away like a Florida parrot and I said, “Why do you sound so funny? Are you in a tunnel, the bathroom? Did you lose your voice?” “No Robin, I am not talking funny. What is the matter with you?” he says. My friend comes back into the room and says...”Rob, why are you holding the phone upside down?”


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KyWoods: Hmmm.... How about something embarrassing? Today, after I went outside and cleaned and refilled the birdbath and the water dishes for the cats, I came in and changed to go shopping. After a couple of hours, I looked down and noticed that I neglected to change out of my grungy, holey, old gardening shoes! Another customer heard me gasp, so I had to tell her why, lol. She laughed and said that most likely, nobody would notice. I left soon afterwards, anyway.....

 

(Lance told me I might want to ask Renée about the deer who ate the flowers, so I did.)

 

We live in the middle of the woods, and it's a constant battle with the wildlife when it comes to gardening. One year, we gave up and planted silk flowers. The deer ate those, too--or tried to. I'd see the little naked plastic prongs where the fake blossoms once were, and wonder where they went. Then on my frequent hikes through the woods, I'd occasionally see a faded, crumpled fake flower lying in the dirt. Evidently, they walked around chewing them for quite awhile before giving up and spitting them out! I was thinking next year, I'll plant pictures of flowers, but then I remembered that paper is probably edible.

 

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Duckmother: I hope I am not the only one that thinks this is funny Whistling. When I was about 5 years old, Mom and I were leaving a parking lot and she backed into a telephone pole. Just as we hit, I looked up at Mom and just as her head jerked, her wig fell off into the backseat. She had this little bitty ball of hair in a ponytail on top of her head. Needless to say, I started laughing uncontrollably! Mom was looking around making certain that no one saw her hit the only object in the parking lot, as I continued to laugh. Finally Mom said, "Kim, it was not that funny!" I pointed up at her head...still laughing. I don't know if anyone saw her back into the pole but if they saw her before and after the hit, I am certain they were laughing, too! I still cannot believe she did not feel that wig come off of her head...or at least notice it was cooler!

 

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Finerliners:  Okay Nancy, not long ago me and my DH were coming from the river. We had just started home and had been talking and all of a sudden my DH said "there is a spider on you.” I promise when I looked down that spider was grinning at me teeth and all while he was on my shoulder. I tried to brush him off, but that spider was jumping all over the place. I went to hollerin', jumpin', stomping my feet. That black spider was jumping everywhere. The more I screamed the more my DH laughed. The more I stomped the more he laughed. I finally got 'em though; 'bout had a heart attack before I could get that spider. I never knew a spider could jump around so much. My DH laughed so hard at me I thought he was going to pee his pants, which in turn made me laugh at myself for how I was acting. I kept making these noises and hand motions even after he was dead just thinking about that spider sitting there on my shoulder grinning at me!Rolling on the floor laughing

 

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Mistirose: It was Thanksgiving and we were in a one story apartment complex in the little town of Longmont Colorado. I believe it was even my first year to actually make a whole Turkey. Normally we did the Cornish hens since it's just the two of us. I worked hard and had the asparagus going, the turkey basting, the sweet potato casserole cooking and the cranberry sauce chillin'. Everything was coming together nicely. Once the turkey was a beautiful golden brown I pulled it out and proceeded to put the marshmallows on top of the casserole, as I did every year. I put the oven on broil (he told me that's how his Mom did it Whistling ) as I did every year and went about tending the turkey and such, when smoke started coming from the oven Blinking I opened the oven and it was not only burnt, but on fire! Hubby was running around helping me put it out when we heard the hallway apartment alarms going off and we knew what that meant...the firetrucks were on their way. So he ran and opened a window and put a fan in it and sure enough we heard them and it was a small town mind you, so they were there pretty quick but we....were quicker Rolling on the floor laughing. We had all the smoke cleared out and the burnt marshmallows down the sink and fresh ones on when we heard them in the hall. They were knocking on doors, and they got to ours and asked if we had burnt something...I said my turkey is golden brown, wanna see? I even offered them some Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing. They looked, smiled and left. I did not tell a lie lol, it was a golden brown!

 

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 Wren: When I was young, very young, my giggle box could get turned over and I could not stop laughing. There was no telling what would set me off. Once we were going on a trip. Now back then we had a small VW beetle, and stuffed in that thing were both of my parents, my very large grandmother, my sister and brother and myself. My sister and brother rode in the space behind the seat. As we where going through St Augustine, I started to laugh. I could not stop or get enough breath to tell the others why. They started laughing at me. Finally, between gasps for breath, I tried to explain about the big sign. You see there was this big billboard for Wise potato chips, with a picture of an owl. And my weird brain got to thinking, what would happen if you bite into one of the chips and it said "who" ?

Then there was the time when we were camping up in the Smokey Mountains. Back then we had a large station wagon and camped in a tent. One night after dark, dad when up the hill to the car for something and ran into a mother bear and her cubs. He went over the top of that station wagon so fast, the bear had no time to react!

 

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Ridesredmule: Lets go to Georgia to a little place called Dauscet Trail Park. It is a park that has nice winding trails with loops and a small stream to cross. We unload our mules from the trailer. My friend Cindy was with her mule Clyde and I was with my first mule Loretta. Now, Loretta was a tall mule I had to mount her from the back of a trailer or a mounting block. She is a 16 hand draft size saddle mule. Beautiful girl...

We started of down the trail with all it's little twists and turns. Came to the creek. We had to go down a sandbar and thru the creek. I don't remember why but I was in the lead with Cindy and Clyde running up behind. We started down the bank and Loretta decided she wanted a drink. I decided she didn't need that drink. When I pulled up on the reins, my foot came out of the stirrup and I knew I was in trouble. Well, needless to say, my foot came out of the stirrup and the next thing I knew I was in the little creek. When I opened my eyes, water was rushing at me. I was staring at a rock that was right in front of me. Cindy was on the hill saying, "Charleen you better get up from there. Clyde is coming down." So I got up from my snorkeling and we walked Loretta up the steep bank to other side. Found a hill to get on, and got back on her. I was a mess! Thumb of 2011-07-26/Ridesredmule/100b7dI had sand in my glasses, in my mouth, ears and was wet, but climbed back on and finished the ride. Seems I'm better at falling off then staying on my critters; another thing, if my foot comes out of that stirrup, I may as well figure out I'm going to the ground.


You seen that commercial where they are talking about "surfing on a horseback?” Well Honey, I was snorkeling from mule back. I know one thing, this short woman and those tall mules and a round rump does not make a good combination...  The life and times of a round butted horse/mule woman...I got stories all right!!!!

 

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Vic: Some folks will call this more embarrassing than funny and some folks will deem this totally inappropriate for funny but it still gives me a belly laugh so…….It was the last week of September, 1997 and I was within days of finishing radiation for breast cancer. The week previous, one of the local television stations had contacted the hospital to ask if they could interview someone that was in treatment as breast cancer awareness month would begin the first week in October. The staff in radiation said they took and vote and picked me because I always had a smile on my face and was always so upbeat.

When they asked me if I would interview, I was terrified as I don’t like to be in the limelight and TV, oh my, I was nervous. I talked it over with Hank and our daughters and they all said go for it! And one daughter said, what if just one person sees it and gets a mammogram?

My interviewed was scheduled and it was to take place at the hospital right after my radiation treatment on this particular day. (I’m already laughing, remembering this) Because my radiation was to my breast, I had a lumpectomy, when you are called back for your treatment, you go into a private dressing room, removed your clothes from the waist up, and put a hospital gown on open to the front. I always just held it together because as soon as you get into the treatment room, the gown is pulled back so the arm of the machine can be positioned right where the cancer was. My arm was put above my head.

On the day of the interview, I’m nervous, scared, etc, and I’m wishing they would hurry up so I would have time to run a comb thorough my hair and slap on some lipstick. And you're stuck in this room all by yourself because the radiation itself is as deadly as the cancer is. The staff can communicate via speakers and can see you on a monitor but you’re stuck in there by yourself once they set the arm.

Finally, the rads are shot and the tech comes in to move the arm so I can get up and get dressed and I go flying at 90 out of the treatment room and forgot my gown was open to the front, forgot that I wasn’t holding it together, and just as I exit, WHAM – camera lights! Oh yeah, and I look like I’m posing for Playboy – Rolling on the floor laughing and even more humiliating, the camera person is a man. YIKES! It turns out the newsperson that was interviewing me thought a good opening shot would be me coming out of the treatment room. Pfft! They even had me go back in and come back out with my gown closed – Rolling on the floor laughing

The interview went well, I had my two minutes of fame without turning too pink in the face or my voice being too wobbly. I have it on tape but I never watch it. It’s more fun to remember – and laugh!

 

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Nancy: There's no better place to “leave 'em laughing” than right there! Wouldn't you agree? Thank you all for sharing your amusing, embarrassing, awkward memories with us. The threads below are where our readers can share a funny moment of their own. Please feel free to join in the fun!

Let's all meet back here next week for another Spotlight article!

Related articles:
interview, Roving Reporter

About Nancy Polanski
I live in Western New York. I'm retired, after working for 30 years in the Microbiology Labs at our county hospital. My time now is spent mostly with the Karen refugee population in Buffalo, advocating for them, teaching, helping and enjoying them. I've twice traveled to their camps in Thailand and experienced their culture. It seems they have taught me more about life than I have taught them.

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Comments and discussion:
Subject Thread Starter Last Reply Replies
I chuckled all the way through valleylynn Aug 22, 2011 10:13 AM 26
Oh! pajonica Aug 1, 2011 7:05 AM 1

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