It was an ordinary shopping trip and then "it" happened.

By Aunt_A (Aunt_A) on April 8, 2010

I was just going into the store to browse. I had no intention of buying anything, although I had a bit of money in my pocket. I had no intention of being arrested for shoplifting, either.

I was just going into the store to browse. I had no intention of buying anything, although I had a bit of money in my pocket. I had no intention of being arrested for shoplifting, either.

I had about 30 minutes extra built into my schedule and I happened upon this large consignment shop / resale store.

I don't remember all the details but there was a cute medium blue shirt with red dancing figures parading across it. I could not decide if I would wear the shirt or if I just thought it was cute for a fun day. So, I carried it around the shop with me.

For some reason, the cashier had the windows open and the breeze was flowing through the store. The clothes were whipping slightly in the wind. I walked past another rack of clothes and noticed a dress; the tank top was fashioned from the same material. The skirt portion was a "jeans" material.

The wind was still blowing like an Oklahoma tornado whipping down the plains and I could not seem to make the articles hold still long enough to really inspect them. "Why do they have that stupid window open, anyway?", I muttered to myself. "Do they want me to buy something or not?"

I looked over the top of my glasses and tried to focus just as another gust of wind moved the shirt away from the dress.

By this time, I was angry. I grabbed both outfits and marched over to a flat surface. However, as I tried to place the clothes down on the table, I noticed that it was really just a rough plywood board stained dark and used as a makeshift cash register table. No employees were at the front of the store and that stupid wind still blew.

I calmly picked up both articles of clothing and walked out the large, open front door, into what I considered the lobby area of the store. As I walked through the door, I heard a faint; "Miss?", which I ignored. I was too angry; now I needed to get away from the wind.

I heard a voice over the intercom call for the manager and I heard something about a shoplifter, which to my peril, I also ignored. I began to inspect the garments for wear and tears.

A tall woman was suddenly peering over my shoulder and I wondered why she was also inspecting the garments. I moved away from her and she followed me. I turned my head and looked directly at her chin. Funny, but before I moved my eyes up to her eyes, I noticed that she had a few solid black hairs growing steadily. "I wonder where her tweezers are," I thought.

I looked into her eyes and they were cold pools of coffee that had once been hot. The blackness of her eyes melted into the blackness of her pupils and I did not find any warmth.

She said calmly; "Let's see...15, 28 dollars...hmmm...not much."

I answered; "No, I'm buying these. And this one is half price. See, the tag is the right color this week. Good deal. You should look for these tags." I smiled brightly and wondered if that comment would make her go back into the main part of the store to continue shopping.

She did not move; my hands felt sweaty. I tried to remember the personal safety moves I had learned. "Pull them into you and let go...or was that push..."

I touched my pocket to be sure my money and license were still intact. I glanced around, trying to decide if I should throw the clothes at her and make a run for the outside door or for the inner part of the store where about two dozen other customers were browsing.

She noticed me glancing around and said; "Ma'm, you'd better just step back into the store with me. There is no where to run; the cops will be walking in that door any minute."

I shook my head and said; "Who are you? Was someone robbed? Why did you call the cops if you are robbing me?" I watched as the corner of her lip moved upwards in a strange snarl. Her lip did not quiver. I guessed that it was accustomed to the strange movement. My mother's words from years ago echoed in my head; "Don't make faces; your face could freeze." A fleeting smile must have passed over my face.

She did not miss it. "I'm sick of you guys thinking shoplifting is a game. Now, get in the store." Her voice sounded like a growling dog.

And I understood.

"I, I...I'm not stealing. I didn't steal anything. It was too windy in there and I just walked over to this lobby area. I wanted to compare these two. I..."

She tipped her head and looked at me like she was a princess and I was sleeping under a cardboard box. Her eyebrows moved up towards her hairline and then decended just as quickly toward her nose. "I know your type; always innocent. Never done nutin' wrong, have ya?" Her fake country accent turned my stomach. She grabbed me by the elbow and forced me into the store.

A few customers had gathered near the front to watch, like children pressing their noses into the cage of the monkey. That is when I snapped. I have never done anything like this in my life.

I yelled at the top of my lungs; "Attention shoppers! This is an emergency. Drop everything you are buying and head for the doors!"

I noticed a few customers looking up and hesitating.

"Shut up", the manager at my elbow muttered. "You are coming to the back office with me, now!". She put an emphasis on "now", like it was a curse word.

"No, I will not go back to some office where you can do whatever. I will NOT." I tugged my elbow. "I'm innocent!", I yelled. "Is there anyone out there that believes me? Why is that stupid window open so you can't look at the clothes. It is a trap! Get out of here and never come back!"

An older woman in a purple dress and red hat bolted for the front door. Her hat blew backwards in the wind but she held on and tried not to look my direction.

"Ha, ha! She believes me...see...the rest of you should too. I've never even had a speeding ticket and this woman thinks she knows it all!" The manager stared at me from her dark, cold eyes like either I had lost my marbles or she had forgotten to put hers in.

I pointed towards the tall woman at my side. Her face was red and the side of her lip had crept up again. "Look at her!", I yelled. "She looks like the guilty one to me! Run for your lives!" By this time, I think I started to enjoy the scene until I noticed two policeman near the door.

"Here they come to take me away; take me away! Don't be next!", I shouted.

A few customers moved to the far part of the store. A shopper darted from a dressing room, her blouse open in the back, grabbed her purse and ran. A lady with two babies wheeled them out the door in a carriage built for two.

The manager tried to push me to the back office.

Instead, I jumped up onto a bright pink, circular ottoman. I placed my arms behind my back and yelled; "Arrest me. Arrest an innocent person. Cuff me here, in front of all these witnesses. I will sue. I will sue. I'm innocent and you treat me like a curr."

A few more customers placed their selections at the empty cash register table and slipped out the door.

"Pull my rap sheet! I've done nothing. I have no record. I don't even have a speeding ticket. I filed my taxes late a few years, but the government owed me a refund anyway. I'm innocent!"

One of the policemen walked in front of me and smiled. "If you've done nothing wrong, just calm down. My buddy will pull up your information, just give me some ID and sit down on that nice ottoman."

"Cuff me!" I yelled.

"Hush," he said calmly.

I looked into his eyes and found a real smile so I stepped down and pulled out my license. I said; "This is all I have with me...except some money but I'll never buy anything in this store again and I'll never set a foot in this store again."

"Good," said the manager. "I don't want no-good customers like you here anyway."

I jumped back onto the ottoman but decided not to shout anything because most of the customers had left. "I might need some wittnesses," I reasoned to myself but said aloud; "I'll NEVER come back to this stupid wretched store."

"Why don't you close some of those windows?", asked the other policeman who was fighting to keep some papers in order as he typed into a hand held computer. "It is a bit windy in here."

The manager glared at me but stepped away to close the windows.

I explained the situation to the policeman...

and I'm sorry to do this to you...but this is really what happened next.

I woke up.

The story stayed alive in my mind all day. I could not forget the dream or the story, so I had to share it here.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Related articles:
funny story, laugh, need a laugh., shoplifting, Shopping, spending money

About Aunt_A
Hi there; glad you stopped by. So, sit down, have a cup of coffee or just a spot of tea and read. I will (someday) have more articles than just this one, so if you enjoy my writing, please visit again.

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Comments and discussion:
Subject Thread Starter Last Reply Replies
The story DMgardener Apr 13, 2010 7:04 PM 2
You got me angele Apr 11, 2010 5:02 PM 12
wow MitchF Apr 9, 2010 8:26 PM 1
Golly!!!! Ridesredmule Apr 9, 2010 8:25 PM 1
hahahahahaha Boopaints Apr 9, 2010 8:24 PM 2
Untitled Audrey Apr 8, 2010 5:49 PM 1


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