Chuckles and Tickles forum: My Pockets Run'ith Over (How not to collect seed)

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Imagestarlight1153
Feb 13, 2010 8:02 PM CST
Name: starlight1153 Zone 8a/b
AL.
I hope everybody had a lovely day. I thought I would share mine with you and maybe you would share some of your tree adventures.

Mine started out this way. I woke up and had two cups of coffee and was ready to take on the day. Then I realized, oh geez, it was daylight savings time and I forgot to turn my clock head.

It's a good thing I am an early bird type person, as I am one of those people who panics if I am not on time or a little bit early. I start racing around like a fool trying to get me ready, gathering everything up I would need for class, and making me two more cups of coffee for the journey to school.

I hop in the car only to realize I forgot to get gas. Fudge!!!!!!!! The nearest gas-station is a half hour away. All the way there I am thinking about what I need to do today and guess I zoned out somewhere along the way, and I missed my turn.

Back tracking and hoping against hope that I can make it to the station , I drive slow. Now I don't know if it is true for sure our not, but I heard somewhere, sometime, from somebody that the slower you go the less gas you will use. So slow, I went, much to the dissatisfaction of the cars behind me. Won't tell you about all the weird looks and horn honking I got. I pulled the sun visor down in the dark, hoping to hide my embarrassment. I need to get updated on hand gestures because I saw some this morning I sure didn't know.

Now when I get in the car, I have a stick shift. I hold one cup of coffee in my hand while I drive and the other to-go cup of coffee, I keep in my lap. By the time I get to the gas station the first cup is done, and I have the second for the rest of the trip, which lasts me usually until I hit the school parking lot.

Now, I'm so busy watching the fuel gauge way down in the red, when I spot the gas station, I whip my poor little antique of a car in there and open the door and jump out. As I stand up fully, I suddenly have this wet feeling running down my legs. Dang. I forgot about the cup of coffee in my lap

I'm soaked, my car seat is soaked, and my cup is laying on the ground. I'm chewing myself out for being such a fool, and head in to pay for my gas. Figures, the line is long with everybody else getting morning coffee and sausage biscuits to go. There I stand for ten minutes in my coffee /sugar coated jeans looking for all the world like I wet my pants. My rump is soaked.

About this time, I'm ready to say the heck with it, miss class and head home, but nope I'm not going do it, because I am on a seed mission for somebody and I am going to collect their tree seeds before they are all gone.

I get to the parking lot only to discover that I left all my change at home in my other pants pockets. Which means I also can't go to the BBQ house and get me another cup of coffee to drink. Now those folks who know me , know I do not function well without my coffee. Anything less than about 20 cups a day and I am having major withdrawal symptoms.

I'm not a happy camper by this time, so off to class I go, only to find the professor has some throat problems and can't speak and class is cancelled. Ok, I not happy that I made over a three hour drive for nothing, but then remembered the tree seeds, so the day not all lost.

I starting hiking for about a half hour and that sure was nice. The Magnolias, Red Buds, Dogwoods and Cherries were all in bloom from the warm spell and even saw a line of Bradford Pear trees that looked beautiful after such dull winter colors. On the way I spot a Sweet Shrub bush. Cool!!!!!! I am envisioning more butterfly food. I just have to get some of these seeds. About this time, I realized that I left home without my baggies to collect seed with and have no purse, no book-bag, nothing with me. No way was I going to leave and not get these seed, because I knew by the time I got back tomorrow they would probably be gone.

Today of all days, I have tight jeans on. I start cramming seed pods into my pockets anyways. Now my pockets are only so deep and yes I was being a pig. I wasn't going to leave until I could get as many of them in my pockets as I could. I am now not only walking around with wet pants, I have my backside and front pockets making me look like a deformed creature from all the funky bulges. Hey, I don't care, let folks stare. I got me some seeds!!!!!! : ) Oh Happy Day!!!!!!!

I finally get to the tree I came to gather seed from and start gathering it up, only to realize I have handfuls of seed and no place to put them. I look to my feet and realized that I was in such a hurry this morning I forgot to wear socks. Socks do work in a pinch for seed carrying. I can't go barefoot and use my shoes because I have sandals on.

Then the brilliant idea hits me, I'll just go to where I know a restroom is and grab some paper towel. In the bathroom I mutter to myself. Double Fudge!!!!!!! The darn paper holder is jammed and no amount trying to wiggle my fingers or beat the crank is going to give me some paper. Then I get the brilliant idea to use toilet paper. I grab me a little bit and head back to the tree. Quickly I discovered that the few little squares I got is not going to hold the amount of seed I want to collect, nor can I fold it so that the seed I do have doesn't fall out. Back to the bathroom I hike. This time I decided to borrow the whole roll. I figured I would use what I need and then carry the rest back and wash my hands.

I get back to the tree and unroll some of the toilet paper on the ground. I tried to make it overlap enough so that I would have a square of some sorts. I get busy collecting seed and I feel so happy that I am going to make somebody's day with these seeds. I gather what I figure is a good amount for them and a bit for me.

I fold my catch up, pick up the rest of the TP roll and stuff it under my arm while I am busy making sure that I got all the corners tucked in on my package and I not losing any seeds. Prepared to leave and heading back to the bathroom, I trip over one of them nasty ground vines with the teeth that bites your ankles when your not looking. I yelp and down I go. My mind is wholly concerned with trying not to lose all these tiny seeds I just gathered. I land on the package and it is trying to come apart. I check the package. Whew!!!! The seeds are safe.

I secure it again then check out the teeth marks ringing my ankle from the vine and look around for the TP roll to pick up. As if I hadn't had enough embarrassment for today, I spot the TP rolling on down the hill and heading for the boggy area.

Here I go looking the fool chasing it not realizing that other folks are watching me until I hear chuckles and snickers coming from left field. Great, because in my mind I suddenly imagine the Charmin toilet paper bears commercial and just knew these folks thought that I was trying to do it like the bears do it in the woods and had lost my TP. With my wet pant legs it sure wasn't looking too good. I debated whether to try and explain the situation to them or not. I figured they probably wouldn't believe me, so I forgot them and concentrated on getting the TP back.

Gingerly, I go to step and reach for the roll only to discover that the leaves I am standing on are a cover and I am standing on a pure bog muck. I now have mud and ooze and who knows what other icky critters all between my toes. EWWWWWWWW.. Gross!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!! And too boot, my sloshing has just now put the TP roll in a position where it sucked up the rest of the mud. Just great. Can this day get any worse?

Finally, TP roll in hand, I hike back to bathroom determined to return the roll. I get there and the roll isn't looking all nice, white and clean anymore. It isn't looking to cool period, but there was one little section that looked white still , so I put it on the back of the toilet. White side sticking out. Hopefully if somebody needs it they will realize that it just mud and not used and recycled til I can replace it with a new roll tomorrow. No way was I going to go into the grocery store and buy some more today. My dignity has taken all the beating it could stand for one day.

I am happy to report that I finally got the seeds home. Of course I still can't sit comfortably yet on a chair. I sitting half on and half off. It seems I forgot all about the seed pods that I had crammed in my back pockets when I went to sit in the car. Now if you've ever seen Sweet Shrub pods you know why I am nursing bruises in some tender spots.

Anybody wanna share some highlight s of their tree experiences????



[Last edited Nov 4, 2013 3:19 PM CST]
Quote | Post #36558 (1)
ImageJoannabanana
Feb 18, 2010 2:17 PM CST
Name: Joanne
Calgary, AB Canada
Zone 3A
Rolling on the floor laughing

What a great story
Imagecececoogan
Feb 22, 2010 12:54 PM CST
Name: Cherie (Cece) Coogan
Southeastern WI zone 5a
once again Ella Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
the faster I go, the behinder I get
Image1AnjL
Apr 2, 2010 11:53 AM CST
Name: AnjL/Annmarie
CA Sierra Mts
Rolling on the floor laughing I get 'tummy' exercise laughing at your stories! Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Lovey dubby Group hug
All Things Hobby
All the coffee in Columbia will never make me a morning person!
Imagewren
Apr 5, 2010 4:02 PM CST
Name: Sandy Coffman
Jacksonville, Florida
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing

Sandy
mekos
May 17, 2010 7:34 PM CST
Name: Jan - INKY'S PAL Charleys Girl
NEWBEE CHAT & HELP LINE
I'm a Charley's girl and loving it!
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
Thumbs up
Imagestarlight1153
May 18, 2010 5:19 AM CST
Name: starlight1153 Zone 8a/b
AL.
Rolling on the floor laughing Don't fall off your chair hehehehehe : )
mekos
May 18, 2010 9:05 AM CST
Name: Jan - INKY'S PAL Charleys Girl
NEWBEE CHAT & HELP LINE
I'm a Charley's girl and loving it!
I went to the floor last night. Advice too late!!! Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing Rolling on the floor laughing
ImageNanny56
May 18, 2010 8:31 PM CST
Name: Claudia
Putnam County Indiana
Have I told you that you always make me smile! Rolling on the floor laughing

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