How has your life changed in the past year? forum: Welcome to the 'How has your life changed' forum!

 
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Imagetomatofreak
Mar 13, 2010 1:22 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Thanks, all. I'm happy to be an inspiration to someone - anyone! I truly get inspiration from all of you - and my animals, too, of course. Bravery is not exclusive to us humans.

Dan, I must say I've been humbled by the reports you've made about Debbie. When I feel bad for myself because I can't get over (fill in the blank; this year respiratory infection), I think of Debbie. She is a powerful person in my book. You too, for all that you do in caring for her.

And, Jo, I live with the dream of gallivanting about the country like you do!
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Dann_L
Mar 13, 2010 2:14 PM CST
Name: Dan
San Tan Valley, AZ
Some of the issues that Deb goes through and rebounds with such a positive outlook just blows me away sometimes. I don't know what kind of person I would be if I lived in her shoes but I doubt it would be as positive as Deb is.

And I don't think I do anything that anyone else wouldn't do given the same circumstances.


I don't know that I would travel as much as Jo does, but it sure would be nice to have that option if I wanted it. Smiling
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
Southwest Living
ImageRoadrunner
Mar 13, 2010 4:30 PM CST
Name: Jo Miklovic
Hereford, AZ

Here's how you do it:

First get old
then retire
save your money for a rainy day
each rainy day go to Southwest airlines
Buy a ticket!!
Imagetomatofreak
Mar 13, 2010 7:54 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Jeez, Jo, you must have been 'on the road' Since January! We've never had so many rainy days.
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
ImageAguane
Mar 13, 2010 7:55 PM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
You make me laugh out loud, Jo!
I'm approaching retirement!
I'll take your advice... in the meantime I'm not spending any money!
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
ImageRoadrunner
Mar 13, 2010 8:46 PM CST
Name: Jo Miklovic
Hereford, AZ

I have 5 Roundups planned for this year...What fun! Jo Lovey dubby
Imagebsavage
Mar 13, 2010 11:22 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Sweet, Jo! Lucky lady!
Pennypen
Mar 14, 2010 11:16 PM CST
Name: Katt
South Carolina
Flower Arrangements
Hi CountryPleasure,
I understand the childhood issues
I lost my mother when I was 8, most of
my childhood was without my parents
My mother was 15 when she had me
though married to my father in what was
called back then a shot gun wedding.
I don't think I ever had a happy moment
during my childhood. I can't remember one
my father left went in the Army, my
mother droped me off at my grandparents
this is the time I got abused by my uncle
for long time,
talk about feeling alone in the world
I use to lay in bed and imagine my life
in a fairy tale I use to think my life was
a bad dream, I remember asking a relative
how do we know this is real maybe I'm
dreaming and it's all a dream this was
sometime after my mother died.
I always felt like I was different than other
kids my age, like I didn't fit it, I was numb
most of the time, walking around trying
to figure out how my life was this,
i know this affected me as I see my self
as an adult. Our childhood is the foundation
the start. Having such a stressful experence
means I looked life so different than somone
who had a what I call a normal childhood
Where I sit today faced with the uncertain
of tomorrow I know my childhood was not
my doing but still very painful, and now
I'm faced with having to start over again
as my marriage is ending.
I feel the need to forgive my husband, my
father, pass husbands the man who
assulted me ... holding on to the pain
I can't heal. I feel that by not letting the
past go, and look at today and the future
as a new and bright spot that the rest
of my future will be holding on to the pain
of the past. I believe I have felt enough
pain and I can't let it hurt me anymore.
This isn't going to be easy but I can do it
you can do it. Though I won't forget the things
that happen in the past. It won't control
the future.
Hugs to you, remember you are not
Alone.

Penny Penn
ImageAguane
Mar 14, 2010 11:43 PM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
Penny, Hi!
You are not alone...You will find this to be true when you start to talk about your experience with trusted people. Only with people you trust to care for your feelings (we do).

When I left and later divorced my husband (he is not a "bad" person and I still care for his well-being and recovery) I talked about our problems to about 6-7 wives in our neighborhood (the process of saying "goodbye" since we sold and moved). I spoke of the drinking and risk taking.... they ALL opened up to me about their husbands. Their drinking. Their abuse. All of them. I spoke very candidly and often about my problems searching for others who may want to talk ... more than a few expressed the same problems I had. So, even though you feel alone in your experience, know that others, many others are there with you. Just reach out... only to trusted people.

I was talking today with a friend. About our childhood experience. I told her about the day when I was senior in high school in San Francisco. About the day I decided to to be the person I wanted to be... not the person I'd "grown" to be. You can be who you want to be .... recover from this pain and enjoy your life. And, so nice you reached out to Countrypleasure! So great! How you both doing?
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
Imagebsavage
Mar 15, 2010 3:28 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Countrypleasure, relying on only yourself is only scary at first. Once you know that you are your strongest ally and your own best friend, relying on yourself is the greatest strength you will find! Others may let you down for reasons you may never understand, but YOU can always choose to take care of yourself, be on your side, stand up for what you believe in! (And even treat yourself to those things you find precious).

Penny Penn, I hear great strength in your words, and wisdom, and that you are moving forward. I know I can't imagine some of the things you and Countrypleasure have dealt with, but I honor your strength. Keep moving forward, our new friends, one foot in front of the other, and remember... there is still so much of life to embrace! Your door is opening. See what you discover. (And CHOOSE pleasant discoveries, as much as possible!). Starting over again is a gift! (Though it doesn't always feel that way in the going through it...), but truly, you can choose your next steps and rebuild! And, by the way, what is the alternative? Not taking action? Not living life? Not feeling the sun on your face or the breeze on your skin? Allowing the past to control your present? Your present is what counts. It is what you have. Hugs from me...

Brenda

p.s. My friend Susie (Aguane), who speaks of what she knows here, and who is one of the most amazing women I know, is very, very good at being mindful of each moment. Susie, will you please share one of my favorite pictures of you taking care of yourself by making a beautiful yet simple meal? (You know, your lovely pic of a lovely little feast for you...)
[Last edited Mar 15, 2010 3:31 AM CST]
Quote | Post #123825 (10)
ImageAguane
Mar 15, 2010 8:10 AM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
Here you go. I don't do this too, too often. But, it's fun and necessary to treat yourself like you treat someone you love. You.

Thumbnail by Aguane

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
Imagetomatofreak
Mar 15, 2010 9:40 AM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Susie, that is exactly the plate I make for myself, right down to the cheese, apples and raspberries, and Wasa crackers! How funny is that. Is that a chardonnay or sauvignon blanc? I have a collection of one of a kind plates and wine glasses so I can find 'just the one' to fit my mood. I highly recommend this little self-indulgence. If you don't drink alcohol, just pour whatever you love most - juice, Coke or milk - into a crystal glass. Makes you feel special, 'cause you are.
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
ImageAguane
Mar 15, 2010 9:58 AM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
That is funny! Alma! It's a chardonnay. I am developing a preference for Sauvignon Blanc, however. Fruity, fresh, flavorful.
Treat yourself well.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
Imagebsavage
Mar 15, 2010 11:35 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing!
Pennypen
Mar 16, 2010 8:59 PM CST
Name: Katt
South Carolina
Flower Arrangements
Hi Aguane
I loved the picture, but yours words
made me cry in a good way,
I think that we forget about ourself
to really appreciate the person we are.
Growing up in an unpleasant enviroment
making bad mistakes in relationships
that leave you completly drained physical
and emotionly to when you look in the mirror
you can't reconize yourself. Blaming yourself
comes easy everything bad that has ever happen
is always your fault.
I guess when you have been married to
someone who doesn't love you it's hard
to love yourself. I think the negitive thoughts
take over your mind. And love is the last
thing you feel , maybe numb
but your thoughts were so true to do somthing
special for yourself like you would do for
someone you loved.
Thanks for the lovely picture,
Penny Penn
Pennypen
Mar 16, 2010 9:18 PM CST
Name: Katt
South Carolina
Flower Arrangements
Hi Brenda,
Thanks for the words of encouragement
In my world of friends and relatives
it's hard to express what I am going through
I truly believe no one really wants to hear
about things I am going through so
it's easy to keep it inside. Which makes
you feel so alone in this big world.
I wish no one ever had to experience
this kind of pain. How lost you feel
Everone here helps me feel that I'm not
alone. Thanks to all of you
Penny Penn
ImageAguane
Mar 16, 2010 9:35 PM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
PennyPenn/Katt
I always remind myself that other people are trying to deal with and cope with their own misfortune. You never know what sort of misery and pain a friend or family member is going through or what sort of damaging experiences they've encountered. It's all I need is to be aware of my own experiences. For me, I face the damage, I don't want to make my damage anyone else's damage... they have their own thing going on. A "healthy me" will reach out to someone who I think may benefit from 3 words from me.... nothing long winded. I'm careful about who I "unload" on. Few people can really help, they've got their own thing going on. You're lucky if you can find one true confidant, cherish that person. If you don't have one, be brutally honest with yourself, and move on to a life of enjoyment and thrive. Thrive. God wants us to thrive in a good life.
Thanks for all kind words, friends! Brenda is a VERY wise woman! Take her words to heart.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
ImageMcGlory
Mar 16, 2010 10:36 PM CST
Name: Lori
Southeast Nebraska
PennyPenn, I feel for you dear. The only thing I have to suggest is Al-Anon. Do you know if there's a group near you? I went to some of their meetings with a friend who used to sound a lot like you. The stories those members tell can make a person feel right at home, and they help you do what you need to do to heal from too many years of what you have had to put up with.
Imagetomatofreak
Mar 17, 2010 12:12 AM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
Lori, that was my thought, too. Al-Anon meetings are filled with people - men and women - whose lives have been turned upside down by alcoholics. It's where you truly understand that you are not alone with your problems. Penny, I hope you can find a meeting near you. You hear some astonishing stories of strength and resilience. And you'll have a support group - people who really do know just how you feel.
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
Imagebsavage
Mar 17, 2010 1:35 AM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Katt, I am wondering if you are a very creative person, as you can see that your posts here are formatted differently, almost as if they were written as poetry. If so, I hope your pursue that! If not, I hope you consider it!

Either way, it seems to me that support is what you need, so whether it is through a group meeting, our group here, or a trusted friend... please find your happy place supports you, and start healing, okay?

Hugs from me,

Brenda

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