How has your life changed in the past year? forum: Welcome to the 'How has your life changed' forum!
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| Thanks, all. I'm happy to be an inspiration to someone - anyone! I truly get inspiration from all of you - and my animals, too, of course. Bravery is not exclusive to us humans. Dan, I must say I've been humbled by the reports you've made about Debbie. When I feel bad for myself because I can't get over (fill in the blank; this year respiratory infection), I think of Debbie. She is a powerful person in my book. You too, for all that you do in caring for her. And, Jo, I live with the dream of gallivanting about the country like you do! Alma In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson |
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| Some of the issues that Deb goes through and rebounds with such a positive outlook just blows me away sometimes. I don't know what kind of person I would be if I lived in her shoes but I doubt it would be as positive as Deb is. And I don't think I do anything that anyone else wouldn't do given the same circumstances. I don't know that I would travel as much as Jo does, but it sure would be nice to have that option if I wanted it.  Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Southwest Living |
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| Here's how you do it: First get old then retire save your money for a rainy day each rainy day go to Southwest airlines Buy a ticket!! |
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| Jeez, Jo, you must have been 'on the road' Since January! We've never had so many rainy days. Alma In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson |
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| You make me laugh out loud, Jo! I'm approaching retirement! I'll take your advice... in the meantime I'm not spending any money! "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein ~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER |
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I have 5 Roundups planned for this year...What fun! Jo  |
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| Sweet, Jo! Lucky lady! |
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| Hi CountryPleasure, I understand the childhood issues I lost my mother when I was 8, most of my childhood was without my parents My mother was 15 when she had me though married to my father in what was called back then a shot gun wedding. I don't think I ever had a happy moment during my childhood. I can't remember one my father left went in the Army, my mother droped me off at my grandparents this is the time I got abused by my uncle for long time, talk about feeling alone in the world I use to lay in bed and imagine my life in a fairy tale I use to think my life was a bad dream, I remember asking a relative how do we know this is real maybe I'm dreaming and it's all a dream this was sometime after my mother died. I always felt like I was different than other kids my age, like I didn't fit it, I was numb most of the time, walking around trying to figure out how my life was this, i know this affected me as I see my self as an adult. Our childhood is the foundation the start. Having such a stressful experence means I looked life so different than somone who had a what I call a normal childhood Where I sit today faced with the uncertain of tomorrow I know my childhood was not my doing but still very painful, and now I'm faced with having to start over again as my marriage is ending. I feel the need to forgive my husband, my father, pass husbands the man who assulted me ... holding on to the pain I can't heal. I feel that by not letting the past go, and look at today and the future as a new and bright spot that the rest of my future will be holding on to the pain of the past. I believe I have felt enough pain and I can't let it hurt me anymore. This isn't going to be easy but I can do it you can do it. Though I won't forget the things that happen in the past. It won't control the future. Hugs to you, remember you are not Alone. Penny Penn |
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| Penny, Hi! You are not alone...You will find this to be true when you start to talk about your experience with trusted people. Only with people you trust to care for your feelings (we do). When I left and later divorced my husband (he is not a "bad" person and I still care for his well-being and recovery) I talked about our problems to about 6-7 wives in our neighborhood (the process of saying "goodbye" since we sold and moved). I spoke of the drinking and risk taking.... they ALL opened up to me about their husbands. Their drinking. Their abuse. All of them. I spoke very candidly and often about my problems searching for others who may want to talk ... more than a few expressed the same problems I had. So, even though you feel alone in your experience, know that others, many others are there with you. Just reach out... only to trusted people. I was talking today with a friend. About our childhood experience. I told her about the day when I was senior in high school in San Francisco. About the day I decided to to be the person I wanted to be... not the person I'd "grown" to be. You can be who you want to be .... recover from this pain and enjoy your life. And, so nice you reached out to Countrypleasure! So great! How you both doing? "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein ~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER |
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| Countrypleasure, relying on only yourself is only scary at first. Once you know that you are your strongest ally and your own best friend, relying on yourself is the greatest strength you will find! Others may let you down for reasons you may never understand, but YOU can always choose to take care of yourself, be on your side, stand up for what you believe in! (And even treat yourself to those things you find precious). Penny Penn, I hear great strength in your words, and wisdom, and that you are moving forward. I know I can't imagine some of the things you and Countrypleasure have dealt with, but I honor your strength. Keep moving forward, our new friends, one foot in front of the other, and remember... there is still so much of life to embrace! Your door is opening. See what you discover. (And CHOOSE pleasant discoveries, as much as possible!). Starting over again is a gift! (Though it doesn't always feel that way in the going through it...), but truly, you can choose your next steps and rebuild! And, by the way, what is the alternative? Not taking action? Not living life? Not feeling the sun on your face or the breeze on your skin? Allowing the past to control your present? Your present is what counts. It is what you have. Hugs from me... Brenda p.s. My friend Susie (Aguane), who speaks of what she knows here, and who is one of the most amazing women I know, is very, very good at being mindful of each moment. Susie, will you please share one of my favorite pictures of you taking care of yourself by making a beautiful yet simple meal? (You know, your lovely pic of a lovely little feast for you...) |
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| Here you go. I don't do this too, too often. But, it's fun and necessary to treat yourself like you treat someone you love. You.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein ~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER |
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| Susie, that is exactly the plate I make for myself, right down to the cheese, apples and raspberries, and Wasa crackers! How funny is that. Is that a chardonnay or sauvignon blanc? I have a collection of one of a kind plates and wine glasses so I can find 'just the one' to fit my mood. I highly recommend this little self-indulgence. If you don't drink alcohol, just pour whatever you love most - juice, Coke or milk - into a crystal glass. Makes you feel special, 'cause you are. Alma In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson |
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| That is funny! Alma! It's a chardonnay. I am developing a preference for Sauvignon Blanc, however. Fruity, fresh, flavorful. Treat yourself well. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein ~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER |
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| Beautiful! Thanks for sharing! |
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| Hi Aguane I loved the picture, but yours words made me cry in a good way, I think that we forget about ourself to really appreciate the person we are. Growing up in an unpleasant enviroment making bad mistakes in relationships that leave you completly drained physical and emotionly to when you look in the mirror you can't reconize yourself. Blaming yourself comes easy everything bad that has ever happen is always your fault. I guess when you have been married to someone who doesn't love you it's hard to love yourself. I think the negitive thoughts take over your mind. And love is the last thing you feel , maybe numb but your thoughts were so true to do somthing special for yourself like you would do for someone you loved. Thanks for the lovely picture, Penny Penn |
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| Hi Brenda, Thanks for the words of encouragement In my world of friends and relatives it's hard to express what I am going through I truly believe no one really wants to hear about things I am going through so it's easy to keep it inside. Which makes you feel so alone in this big world. I wish no one ever had to experience this kind of pain. How lost you feel Everone here helps me feel that I'm not alone. Thanks to all of you Penny Penn |
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| PennyPenn/Katt I always remind myself that other people are trying to deal with and cope with their own misfortune. You never know what sort of misery and pain a friend or family member is going through or what sort of damaging experiences they've encountered. It's all I need is to be aware of my own experiences. For me, I face the damage, I don't want to make my damage anyone else's damage... they have their own thing going on. A "healthy me" will reach out to someone who I think may benefit from 3 words from me.... nothing long winded. I'm careful about who I "unload" on. Few people can really help, they've got their own thing going on. You're lucky if you can find one true confidant, cherish that person. If you don't have one, be brutally honest with yourself, and move on to a life of enjoyment and thrive. Thrive. God wants us to thrive in a good life. Thanks for all kind words, friends! Brenda is a VERY wise woman! Take her words to heart. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein ~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER |
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| PennyPenn, I feel for you dear. The only thing I have to suggest is Al-Anon. Do you know if there's a group near you? I went to some of their meetings with a friend who used to sound a lot like you. The stories those members tell can make a person feel right at home, and they help you do what you need to do to heal from too many years of what you have had to put up with. |
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| Lori, that was my thought, too. Al-Anon meetings are filled with people - men and women - whose lives have been turned upside down by alcoholics. It's where you truly understand that you are not alone with your problems. Penny, I hope you can find a meeting near you. You hear some astonishing stories of strength and resilience. And you'll have a support group - people who really do know just how you feel. Alma In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson |
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| Katt, I am wondering if you are a very creative person, as you can see that your posts here are formatted differently, almost as if they were written as poetry. If so, I hope your pursue that! If not, I hope you consider it! Either way, it seems to me that support is what you need, so whether it is through a group meeting, our group here, or a trusted friend... please find your happy place supports you, and start healing, okay? Hugs from me, Brenda |
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