How has your life changed in the past year? forum: Welcome to the 'How has your life changed' forum!

 
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cando1
Mar 18, 2010 5:55 AM CST
Name: Vickie Speaks
Ozone Arkansas
Katt, I've been following this thread and kept hesitating to post. I did want to tell you my life was so much like yours. My mother died when i was three, My father dropped me off with my 86 year old great grandmother and great uncle. My grandmother was without a doubt the meanest woman in the world (whole familys description) I was physically,mentally and sexually abused. I was'nt allowed to have friends. Grandmother was a gardener and i was left outside most of the time. So i learned to love plants and the stars at night. They were my only friends.I would make beleive that i lived with a bear and a lion and other animals at night and they would protect me. I would also lay awake for hours at night before i could sleep. When i learned to read in the first grade, i entered another world.I read everything the small school had to offer, than a teacher introduced me to the public library.My world changed.I did read every book in that library and the librarian became my guide in life.
I met my husband when i was 16 and we were married when i was 17. My highschool principal allowed me to go to Massachussetts. to get married and allowed me back to school to graduate.(something unheard of then) God was with me and i was so lucky in that my husband and his family were such wonderful loving people. They have been my family, my friends and my life. My Dear Husband died abt 5 years ago after 48 years of marriage. I was devestated. He was my everything. I am just this year getting over it and realizing there is still life left for me.I'm 70. The next year my best friend and sister(my sistr-in-law) died the next year. Another SIL the next year. This has been so hard. I have 2 DD,S AND 2 grandsons. The 2 DD,S and 1 grandson are good people. The one grandson is however totally like my great grand mother.At 28 he has been in prison for forging some of my checks.
So Katt, grab hold of yourself and love and hold on to that wonderful person.....You. You've got some wonderful years ahead of you. and you deserve every second of them. Yes there may be some bad times but the good times can pull you thru the bad. Girl, You've proved you are worthwhile. Look what you have survived.
love ya sister, in our shared history.
Vickie
Imagebsavage
Mar 19, 2010 12:01 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Thank you for sharing, Cando, and for your message of hope and strength. You, too, are an inspiration! As you say, there is much life to be lived and experienced...

Brenda
cando1
Mar 21, 2010 1:13 AM CST
Name: Vickie Speaks
Ozone Arkansas
Thanks Brenda.
ImageAguane
Mar 23, 2010 10:47 PM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
Yo! Everyone! How you doing out there this evening? Just wondering and concerned about you ladies and gents!
-Susie.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
Imagebsavage
Mar 24, 2010 3:07 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
I was wondering the same, Susie. How is everyone doing? Stop in and chat with us!

Brenda
Imagetomatofreak
Mar 24, 2010 7:07 PM CST
Name: Alma
Phoenix & Cottonwood, AZ
USDA zone 9b, Sunset 13 & ??
I related somewhat to Vickie's post. I had the experience of staying - very temporarily - with a great uncle and his wife. I thought she was the meanest woman on earth, sour, critical and quick with a switch. My mother sought to assure me she wasn't really bad, but I was never convinced. And my grandma was h*ll on wheels. When she was aggravated with someone or something, which was often, she went through the house like a hurricane, slamming doors behind her and cursing. I adored my grandfather but he died when I was six. Grandma's kids took her in to live with them from time to time and once she came to live with us. We were all so relieved when she left!

I can barely imagine what life was like for Katt, Vickie and Lisa. Thankfully, we don't have to live in the past; in fact, we can't. Vickie's message is right on: today and tomorrow and the future hold the promise of life fulfilled. And somewhere, everyday, there is beauty to be savored and enjoyed, even if it's as fleeting as falling rose petals.
Alma
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
bugme
Mar 26, 2010 4:39 AM CST
Name: Sharon
Barnesville, GA 8b
I've read and suffered with you all, yes, someone else is always worse off than we think we are. I am 69 and happily married. We both had adult children and a few teenagers still to struggle with and survived it! My beloved brother left us in '08 and that was devastating to me. In Nov. that year my mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor and her being 88 it was not possible to treat her for it so we brought her in with us. The experience of being a caregiver brings about many emotions and I can only say it was a humbling experience and a blessing as well to be able to share her last days with her. In Feb. 09 my sister was also diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. They both died on April 10th last year and, as that time approaches it is clear I need to think on other things. As my mom would say "life goes on ......yes indeedy"!! Needless to say, it was good to see 09 go away!

A salute to all of us who have suffered hardship, heartbreak and adversity for, it is those very things that have brought us to the place where we can celebrate our strengths. Thumbs up
Imagebsavage
Mar 26, 2010 12:22 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
Hi Sharon, thanks for joining us. I can't imagine how heartbreaking losing three family members in such a short time must have been. Your positive attitude sure shines through, though. I'm sure your wise Mom remains very proud of you.

Brenda
ImageRoadrunner
Mar 26, 2010 4:43 PM CST
Name: Jo Miklovic
Hereford, AZ

My DH died with lung cancer...but had developed a brain tumor just about the time that his cancer had reared it's ugly head again...we knew it was terminal...but they were 99% sure the the brain tumor was NOT from the lung cancer...as is usually the case...but one good thing about it was the he had 6 weeks of no pain before he died...but he would have suffered a lot had he lived for the cancer to take him.

The death certificate said he died with cancer...but it was really the tumor.

Did your siblings go like my DH? painless? I hope so. Jo
bugme
Mar 26, 2010 5:34 PM CST
Name: Sharon
Barnesville, GA 8b
Bless her heart, my mom died relatively painlessly and peacefully although the time prior to her passing was painful to see. Her decline was so swift (4 months).........she was a brilliant and accomplished woman and the tumor robbed her of the ability to verbalize properly. She knew exactly what she was trying to say, it just came out somewhat confusing to hear (we learned a second language with her).
My brother had been unwell for years and the last three months were agonizing for him.
My sister was also robbed by the brain tumor and, as she had said months before all of this happened, she could not imagine living without mom........she survived her by only hours and was not even aware for those thank goodness.
After my sister's diagnosis I took myself for a C-scan and got a clean bill. It was bizarre they were both stricken with the exact same tumor(s) and it really scared me.
What really hits me hard sometimes is the "sound of silence". I can hear each of them calling my name so clearly. It only reminds me how precious is the time we have with those we love and how important to let them know. May the Group hug be unbroken.

ImageLouC
Mar 26, 2010 5:41 PM CST
Name: Christi Gibson
DeSoto Texas
zone 8a
At 68 going on 69 I could write a book. Of all the things that I have experienced, and there have been many, the loss of my grandson April 14, 2009, has been the worst for me. He struggled with drug addiction from age 12 until he died at 25. He had changed his life and was no longer using drugs although it dogged him every single day. The last ten years of his life, he lived with us more than any place else. Except when he would disappear for weeks at a time. It has to be the worst disease on earth. He hated, hated, hated the addiction. He was in an out of every kind of rehab they have designed. We were right beside him all the way. Ironically, he was clean and was fishing with his cousin on a beautiful sunshiney day. Coroner says his heart stopped and he fell into the water. The shock of the cold water caused him to take a breathe and he was gone in an instant. No matter how long I live I will never get over loosing him. He was a born again Christian as we are. I look forward to seeing him on the other side. Some days I pray that The Lord take me soon.

Christi
ImageRoadrunner
Mar 26, 2010 9:59 PM CST
Name: Jo Miklovic
Hereford, AZ

I remember that hard time for you LouC...What a sad thing to happen.
cando1
Mar 27, 2010 1:46 AM CST
Name: Vickie Speaks
Ozone Arkansas
Lou, I've not lost one of my children or grand kids, but i've always heard it's the hardest loss of all. My heart goes out to you.
There are major criminal problems with one of my GS and i was one of his victems.That in a way is a loss but not a final one and i can always hope he will change someday.
MY DH had a stroke and went in an instant. MY SIL had cancer and suffered alot. Her name was Bonnie she was one of the best christians and all around good person. She never said a bad word to or about anyone,Always went out of her way to help anyone who needed help.She also loved the Lord, Toward the end she worried that she might not make it to heaven,no matter what anyone said.I finally told her the only thing i could do when i met Jesus was to say what the theif on the cross said to Him. God have mercy on me a sinner and remember me. For some reason that satisfied her and she was ok after that. She did'nt need to say that but i do. I do miss her.
Vickie
ImageAguane
Mar 27, 2010 11:01 AM CST
Name: Susie
Phoenix AZ
I did some volunteer work at our Florence Crittenton home yesterday. My boss is on the Board of Directors. What an amazing eye opener. This is a last chance home for girls who have experienced what we've all shared here. At least what we've experienced. There are currently about 40 girls at the home. A percentage will leave too early and lapse. Some will succeed. Actually the current CEO was long ago a young girl who had her baby there. All of the staff, men and women, passionate, worthy mentors and leaders.

One 15 year old girl spent about 1 hour with the three of us showing us every nook and cranie of her new home of 4 months. I later learned what she had experienced, her path to lead her to Flo Crit. She was VERY strong, deliberate, articulate and hungry to learn. She talked about her past, current state and hopes and dreams. She has never had an adult care for her, teach her until now. She is a born leader with goals for college and careers. Yes, career"s". Flo Crit is giving her a respite to be quiet and collect herself and she is absolutely aware that this is her last chance. She is EXTREMELY compassionate, too, expressing caring and concern and a potential advocacy for homeless children all over the world.

She has a woman in her life who will foster her once she's ready to leave Flo Crit. She expressed it's her only hope/chance. I pray to God that woman is there for her when the time comes. This girl is strong but to be let down after all of this would/could be devastating. I pray that she will come through this with the worst behind her.

Someone asked her if she felt save at Flo Crit and she immediately said "no". She took the crucifix around her neck in the palm of her small, but strong hand and looked us straight in the eye and said "I only feel save with I'm when Him, when I'm with this Guy".
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein
~ All Things Plants, SOUTHWEST GARDENING ~Cubits.org ENERGY & POWER
[Last edited Mar 27, 2010 10:10 PM CST]
Quote | Post #147672 (14)
ImageLouC
Mar 27, 2010 11:06 AM CST
Name: Christi Gibson
DeSoto Texas
zone 8a
Lovey dubby
Imagebsavage
Mar 27, 2010 12:22 PM CST
Name: Brenda
Dolores, Colorado
I'm touched by the support everyone here is offering to each other. It is good for each of us to know that we are not alone. Christi, you know you have a special place in my heart, and my wish for you is that you find and remember happiness in the living. Big hugs from me, my friend!

Brenda
ImageLouC
Mar 27, 2010 2:07 PM CST
Name: Christi Gibson
DeSoto Texas
zone 8a
Thank you, Brenda. I remember all too well when you lost your brother. Prayed for you and your family. The building of your pond inspired me to get my little stock trough. I'm very sorry for the changes that were forced on you but you have been so graceful and you keep on keepin' on. An example for others. Things are very temporary and will not accompany us into eternity.

We are trying to get our old '94 Pace Arrow running and we might be in Colorado someday. How close are you to Bailey? Mike has a cousin there.
cando1
Mar 27, 2010 9:48 PM CST
Name: Vickie Speaks
Ozone Arkansas
Susie, I thank you for reaching out to this girl. I'll be praying for both of you. I think all of us have proven we are survivers. I had some good people give me a supporting hand thru the years, A couple of teachers, A librarian,A boss as a teenager.My mother-in-law. All my sisters in law,my husband. When most of the world does'nt see good in you than someone comes along and sees that you are a worthwhile and good person,It's like a miracle.
I see good in everyone here. If you were not a good person, You would be out destroying people and things. You would turn inward with hate. I see no hate here only questions how to find hope and help. That in my book is a good person.Also an intelligent one.
Vickie
ImageLouC
Mar 28, 2010 8:58 AM CST
Name: Christi Gibson
DeSoto Texas
zone 8a
Re-read this entire cubit. My heart goes out to each of you as I pray that every tomorrow is better.

Today is Palm Sunday when Jesus Christ was received triumphantly in Jerusalem. He knew He would be crucified on Friday to cleanse us of all sin. Even better, He arose on the third day. Group hug
cando1
Mar 29, 2010 12:48 AM CST
Name: Vickie Speaks
Ozone Arkansas
EASTER always bothers me. The things Jesus endured is beyond beleif. I always have to ask myself-What have i done to deserve it. I'm glad for Him rising but wish it could have been easier for Him.

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