Calling all SI Sistahs!!! forum: You Ask For It! Fall/Winter
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Julie!!  So good to see you gal! It's been a while. How's life treating you? Susan. The current situation with your mum will bring you down, don't take this wrong..but you are blessed to be able to see and touch her again.Like Audrey said, don't give up, she might pull through this. Perhaps Comfort Care would be the best thing for her. Must all your siblings agree to this, Susan? Sharon, I wonder if you had ever thought of compiling all your Aunt Bett's stories and get them published in one book? They'd be great historical reads for future generations. It was in the teens for a couple of days, in the a.m. High of 40s in the afternoons. No white stuffs, praise God, but Kel said ice is just as bad. We did have some rains. Looks like my 'snowed' sistahs here are doing okay and still able to stay online! High 70s predicted for the weekend  Crazy ain't it? Global warming should be changed to Global Warning!! We don't know what clothes to put on from one day to the next!! |
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| That's what I'm doing, Jaye, compiling the articles. But I am having to rewrite those old ones from DG. Thinking of you, Susan. |
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| Morning everyone! Sending well wish to all those in need! It is 45 right now and supposed to reach 67 today. Sharon, I am glad to hear your going to compile all your stories, that would be such a treat for many to read. The past few days I have been coughing a lot, so I went to the Dr. yesterday and found out I have bronchitis and ear infections again! Came home with more cough meds and antibiotics. I was also told not to travel anywhere. She said if I was better I can go but all Dr.'s offices got the message to tell those with the crud to stay home and stop spreading germs. So there goes my trip to Michigan for my Dad's 80th birthday on the 21st! She said if I was better I can go but all Dr.'s offices got the message to tell those with the crud to stay home and stop spreading germs. Lets hope the meds work this time! |
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| LK, be sure to take ALL the antibiotics! I feel for you, I used to get that stuff all the time! |
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| ok, first of all, Mom is not going to pull through, and won't survive. Only 2 siblings, Alice & Ruth, NEED to (legally) agree to this, but they contacted all of us, and we all agree. Saw my mom today.... her shoulder hurt, so they gave her morphine. When I arrived, she said her legs hurt, so they gave her morphine again...... 1st dose didn't do anything, so they gave her more, and she slept through most of my visit, which was fine. The nurses and aides all give the 3C's - Care, Comfort and Compassion....... they are so "dear" to her..... call her sweetie, etc...... They're talking about putting her in a Palliative Care room...... hope that means a private room, so she can have a window! There's always a curtain drawn between her bed and the next, and the next person has the window side....... and NPO which means she's getting no nourishment...... although my brother came to see her yesterday as we (Alice & I) were leaving... he was DRUNK. He'd cut his finger at work (in a restaurant) so they sent him home. He was "coming up right away" - 1 hour bus ride.... took him 3 hours and a taxi ride (!!!!!) because he was upset that Alice told him mom was dying (she said it nicer than that... but he couldn't handle that.......) Then, when he arrived and had to gown up..... he only put glove on cut hand, not the other... DUH! Then he told Mom all she needed was a good meal (remember the NPO?) He got a meal for her and fed her........ all pureed of course, but we were ALL told that if she tried to eat anything, she could aspirate and die!! Sorry people, but my brother is an A***....... Sorry to be so blunt, but it's TRUE There is absolutely nothing left to my mom...... she can't talk, eat, barely drink, and with more and more morphine..... it could be any day now. |
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| You are so brave, Susan. Accepting the inevitable is hard to do, and your brother isn't taking it well. He's reacting differently than his wise sisters since he's in denial. I remember I acted like an ass when I was told that there's nothing the doctors could do to save my grandma who was dying of kidney cancer. When the nurse turned up the morphine dial, I shouted at my mother and accused her of not trying her darndest best. Nothing I can say right now can make you feel any better. This passage won't be easy, but at least you have your sisters on the same team. We'll keep on holding you in our thoughts, Susan.  Linda Kay, I do hope you are fortifying yourself with extra vitamins. Seems like your immune system's wacko. You may have to step back and REST!!! Mentally and physically. Stress is a killer you know. Get well and listen to your body. I'm the expert remember?  Good night my sisters, prayers said for all here. God knows what is best for us. |
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| Feel better, LK, and thank you! Susan, my prayers are with you and your mom. Just like Jaye says, God knows best. |
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| Thank you, Jaye....... you're a beautiful soul, and I'm proud to know all my sisters here are with me now...... I never thought I would bring such heartfelt sadness in my heart to this group of wonderful people, but you're making it easier for me. My eldest sister does not want to come to the hospital because she wants to remember Mom when she was healthier. My other sister, Ruth, is in Phoenix right now, and won't be back until the 25th. This leaves Alice & I.... and Stan (the ass). And of course my lovely daughter, Michelle, who came up today on her lunch hour from work. Alice has been here from the beginning (Christmas morning) and today took a break. Every day I expect to be told it is Mom's last. Poor Michelle - she was there with Grandma after I left, and she did not have a happy visit. My mom slept most of the time........ She was so happy to see Michelle, but fell asleep - it's the morphine, of course. I thank you all for being here with me, during what we know is inevitable, but.......well....... she's my Mom............ (crying)....... |
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| Thank you, Sharon - guess I cross-posted..... |
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| So sorry Susan, I know this is difficult for you, but what a blessing you can be there. Perhaps if needed you can extend your visit, change your return flight home. Our arms are around you, I hope it will bring you a bit of peace. |
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| Our hearts are with you Susan. And maybe someday you can take pity on your brother who really doesn't want to accept that this is what it is. Denial is part of the human process too and I do understand where he is coming from I don't agree with it but I do understand. Praying that Mom finds peace soon with no more suffering. God bless you and your family... |
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| Seems like a son is always taking the hard way, my daddy did, when his mother died. She couldn't breath and tried to rip her clothes off because she thought they were smothering her. Just take each minute at a time, and be thankful she can be kept out of pain as much as possible. |
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| thank you all. Every day I go to see her I think "this is the day she will pass away, and I want to be with her when she does" |
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| Susan, if we loved our parents, that's the most natural thing to do. I didn't have closure as I was here while she lay dying in Singapore. Doctors said she had a year left when she's diagnosed with lung cancer. I thought I'd turn in my resignation (FMLA doesn't apply when one's parent's overseas) get my one way ticket and be with her in a couple of months. She died precisely one month later  I truly believe she didn't want to cause any hardship on her 'overseas' kids. Me and Zi. Do you know that up to now I still can't cry for my mum? When she shows up in my dreams, I thank our Lord. In His mercy, He knew how much I missed her. Your mum's lucky to have you and the others around her at this time. My mum was fortunate that the other six kids never left her side. |
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| today my mom was great - ate 3 full meals (well, most of her dinner.....), and was sitting up and perky most of the day. Still slept a fair bit, but that's natural. She is, however, very thin. She said she was 88 lbs when she lived in the residence, and was curious about what she weighed now....... knows she's lost a lot of weight. She's still in Palliative care, but now no one knows what to think. |
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| I'm glad she's feeling better. Prayer works! |
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| Hang in there Susan, she will probably have good and bad days. Just make sure you give her hugs from us please? Yes, Todd makes sure I take daily vitamins. I was running a bit of a fever when I got up, but that only lasted for a short time. |
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| Keeping you in my prayers that this passes completely LK and you get to Michigan..... |
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| hello everyone - thank you for your thoughtful prayers, etc I spent the night with Mom. She had a very fitful night - had to have morphine for pain. My sister Alice says it's "phantom pain". Anyway, I sang her to restfulness, and rubbed her back, forehead and stroked her hair. She calmed down then (she had been hallucinating). I think I got about 3 1/2 hours of broken sleep. The hospital was sweet - the "overnight stay" was a last minute decision when I found out that I could stay. They provided me with my meds (for epilepsy), and a cot next to Mom's bed. This morning she woke up very slowly...... then ate breakfast, then went back to sleep. The nurse says that usually someone in her state has a good day, then it's all downhill. She had 2 good days in a row, so they have no idea other than she's "spunky". When Alice came by, I caught a ride home with her husband (to my daughter's that is). I then had a 2 hour nap, then dinner. Heading back tomorrow - should arrive at 10am, then leaving at 4pm to meet a friend, then back to Michelle's for dinner. I go back home Tuesday am, so tomorrow is my last visit with Mom. |
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